Merry Christmas Food

So I am writing this blog post in the kennel place.  Since the bat crazy cat and this new cat are also here in the kennel, Boss said that it would be okay for me to have a little netbook along and write a blog post or two.  But I am not allowed to do the "abuse my internet privileges" words by spending too much time on websites featuring french poodles.  I mean, not spending ANY time on websites featuring french poodles.  Not even that one with the twin poodles or the other one with a pool full of poodles.  Because that would get me into trouble again.  I mean, that might get me into trouble if I was the sort of dog that would look at websites like that.  But I am not.  Not even a little bit.  By accident.  A couple of times.

Boss and Big One and Player and Talker are doing the "Christmas" word with the parents of Boss right now.  They already did the "Christmas" word with each other and the bat crazy cat and this new cat and me.  And the food was awesomeness!  Everybody got to eat foods and more foods and more and more foods and IT WAS AWESOMENESS.  Since the bat crazy cat and this new cat and me ate our "Christmas" word foods so fast, there are no good pictures.  Boss says the pictures show animal shaped blurs and some brown things that could be identified as treats if one squinted hard enough.  So just imagine that.  But the pictures of the foods my people ate turned out nice and will become pretty-paper-picture-story pages for The ScrapRoom and an obsessive mini book for Evalicious, says Boss. But I do not care.  I want to just look at the foods my people ate!

Boss makes cinnamon rolls.  This is part of the surprise for Big One, so Boss is wearing red and insists on being called Santa.  Talker says that she is MC Awesome instead.  The M means "mama" and the C means "claus" and the Awesome means Player gets to have extra electronics privileges.

Player makes the frosting for the surprise cinnamon rolls.  He was not supposed to be home when the surprises were happening, so Boss made him wear red and called him Elf.  She kept saying to not tell Player about the surprises and I got terribly confused.

BOSS MADE PUPPY CHOW!!!!!  IT IS FOR PUPPIES!!!!!   I AM A PUPPY!!!!!!!  Oh.  No.  I am not, says Boss.  She says I am a dog and am too old for this stuff.  Plus, it has chocolate in it and will make me die.  That seems mean to feed to puppies.  Perhaps that is why we do not have puppies.

Boss says this is rock candy, which seems mean to feed to anyone.   Boss is sometimes mean like that, I guess.

Oh!  The secret cinnamon rolls which are not longer a secret!  They were tasty, except for the gluten-free ones in the background.  Boss says those were best in the trash after she licked the frosting off of them.

The special "Christmas" word dinner that Boss made Big One as a surprise.  There was roasted pork, roasted potatoes, roasted asparagus, and roasted rolls.  Boss is a big fan of roasting things, and Big One is a big fan of eating roasted things.

Big One cuts the meat.  Which is not like cutting the cheese, says Boss.

Boss calls this a chocolate moose.  But it is spelled mousse and tastes better than if you spell it "moose".  A moose is a moose is a moose is a moose no matter how you spell it, if you ask me.  But no one does.

Boss Follows Through and Makes New Plans

But first of all I am a little embarrassed about my last post. 

Apparently the end of the world is not happening.  So now I am wondering who is smarter, the bat crazy cat or me?  And I am uncomfortable with thinking about that.  I am a very simple dog.  Maybe I should just think about squirrel farts and whether or not there will be a hamburger wrapper to sniff on our walk.  Boss says this is a very good idea, because no one else in the family will think of those things.  So I am special and important and my job is to do the funnest stuff out of everybody!  Boss is laughing which means she is agreeable with this idea.  I am happy again. 

Before there was me in this family, Boss decided to make a rule to follow about taking pictures and making pretty-paper-picture-story pages for a whole year.  I am just a simple dog so I will not talk about how rules and making pretty-paper-picture-story pages are not things that belong together.  And I did not even think of this myself, because Boss says this.  Boss says that pretty-paper-picture-story pages do not have rules because they are art and fun and memories and the "get it done already" words.  But I will tell you that Boss had rules anyway. 

Boss took Simple Stories Year-O-Graphy and made pretty-paper-picture-story pages almost all the same with the word "currently" on them and then told Big One, Talker, and Player to write on them.  Boss normally does not let my people write on her good paper.  I am a little confused by this.

Boss is pleased that there is a pretty-paper-picture-story page with the word "currently" on them for every month of this year.  Boss says that she learned that Player is consistent and Talker watches too much questionable television while these "currently" words were written on.

Boss also took a picture of our yard every month this year.  This is June.  I am adorable.

This is December.  I am not in this picture which is a little sad, but my paw prints are in this picture which is almost as good as seeing me in the snow.

So Boss says that I have made the "segue" word.  I am confused.  This is a blog post, not a two-wheeled vehicle that I secretly would like to ride.  Actually, I would like to drive it.  I am sure this can be done.  I have a blog.  Surely I can drive a segue.  Oh?  It is spelled Segway?  Boss is now explaining that even though it sounds the same, a segue is merely a literary or speech thingie and not really fun or interesting in any way.  No, Boss did not say the "thingie" word.  Or the rest of that sentence.  But I stopped listening to her talk to me about... uh... whatever Boss was saying.

And now Boss is saying that she will be doing the "Project Life" words with the pictures she took of the yard and other things.  What?  Oh.  Boss is now back-tracking a little.  Boss means to say she will do *something* like the "Project Life" words.  Boss will go backwards and forwards in time while putting random pictures together on one page using pages with pockets on them.  Good Lord, that is what this woman just said.  I do not think listening to her is any better than not listening to her.  

Boss is now putting her hands on her hips and raising her voice.  Boss says to just wrap up the blog post and mention that Evalicious makes wonderful things to put in pockets.  Pockets like the ones here.  Pockets like the ones here that make Boss happy because they are 8.5x11 size.  Pockets like the ones here that make Boss happy because they are 8.5x11 size and so she will happily buy them from We R Memory Keepers.  I think Boss is just happy to buy things.  But that is just me and the "voicing my opinion" words.

The Last of the Pretty-Paper-Picture-Story Pages

Because the end of the world is coming.  I know this.  I can read.  And even though there was that article in the National Geographic about another Mayan calendar being found that goes for five thousand more years I am not going to be bamboozled by that article, no, I am not.  And here is why I am convinced that this whole thing is real even though Boss has become very very VERY annoyed with me whenever I try to discuss this:  this bat crazy cat does not have any comment about the end of the world and dismisses it as ridiculous and the "yammerings of half-breed hyenas."  (I am well aware that this is a reference to me.  Which is ridiculous as I am not half hyena.  I am much better bred than that I am sure.  I believe I am part awesomeness and part adorable and part "shelter special" as Boss says.  I am special.  Not a hyena.  Or even part of a hyena.) 

And that is my point.  If the bat crazy cat agrees with me, I know that I am not very smart and probably slightly insane.  If the bat crazy cat does not agree with me, I know that I must be onto something.  Therefore, since the bat crazy cat does not agree that the end of the world is coming, it *must* be coming.  And there will be no more pretty-paper-picture-story pages ever again.

I mean, no more pretty-paper-picture-story pages after these.

Boss is only letting me share these pretty-paper-picture-story pages because she thinks the paper strips are somewhat clever.  Otherwise, Boss was just happy to be done with these pictures.  I am not a fan either, but it is because there is a picture of a hyena and none of me.  And I am not a hyena, or even part of a hyena.  I have stripes.  I do not have spots.  Plus, I do not smell very horrible.  Well.  Maybe that is not a good differentiator.

Boss loved this page until it was done.  It was for a BasicGrey sketch challenge and Boss always loves the BasicGrey (again, BasicGrey is paper and is not Grey the dog, which is me, so I am not a fan of BasicGrey either).  After saying "meh" at the page, Boss thinks the problem is the picture.  Boss needs to take more responsibility, I think.  But that is only my opinion.

Boss decided to mess up the picture and reorder it and replace it in the layout.  Boss is already much happier and I have already told you what I think about the pixlr-o-matic mess that Boss likes and I do not.  I am not a fan again.  (Boss did not have time to swap the photos before the end of the world.  I am secretly glad about that.)

Boss made this page "outside her comfort zone" which is somewhere not in her cozy chair sitting on her butt, I think.  Oh.  Well, Boss gave me the frowny forehead face and says it means "being challenged to use mist and hyperventilating and wanting to throw up."  I do not know why she just did not say that in the first place.  Also, Boss says that this challenge was a personal one from friend-the-Gazelle and made her question the friendship.  Whatever that means.

Hobby Series #1:  (Boss said to type that first part.)  This pretty-paper-picture-story page shows that Boss is using the "double standard" words.  Apparently when Boss wants to make messes on paper it is okay.  When friend-the-Gazelle wants to make messes on paper, Boss gets the "cranky pants" words.  But that is how Boss is.  It is hard living here sometimes. 

Hobby Series #2:  Yarn things.  Made before the other yarn things.  I grow weary of the yarn things already.

And I never did get a cupcake... 

Boss Makes Yarn Things; also, Talker Is Not an Attractive Model

I have seen this.  Both of these.  And they are true.  But I will show you so you can be in the judgement of these things yourself.

While Boss was in the laying around doing nothing phase of the "surgery" word, she made many yarn things.  Apparently Boss is also the "hoarder" word when it comes to yarn because she seems to have a lot of yarn that does nothing except get looked at and held and then put away for someday.  But apparently the "someday" word was last week because all those yarns came out and sat in a bucket and got poked at by Boss when she was not napping.  And apparently Boss collects yarns in twos, or she thinks there is a flood coming, or she can not just buy one of anything, or maybe all of those things.  Because there were two yarns of each kind.

And if you ask Boss what she will be making with these yarns in twos she says she does not know but she will figure it out eventually.  This means looking at magazines and making parts of yarn things and then taking the yarn things apart.  And also looking at books and making parts of yarn things and then taking the yarn things apart.  And also even looking at yarn thing patterns found with Google and making parts of yarn things and then taking the yarn things apart.  This can go on for quite some time until Boss forgets to take the yarn things apart and accidentally finishes using the yarn.

But that is okay, because then Boss says it is done and she likes it and then reaches for more yarns.

A bag made with horrible scratchy sparkle yarn and delightfully soft, yet not very tasty, wool.  I thought I smelled a sheep but I could not find it.  I looked very hard though.  I spread the wool out on the floor.

A girly flower.  Boss seems to think this bag might be a boy bag if she does not add the flower.  I think a boy would not want the bag even if it did not have a flower.  I am pretty sure about this.

Boss is delighted at the tiny stitches of the horrible scratchy sparkle yarn and scalloped edge of the not very tasty wool.

Talker is not an attractive model.

This is what Boss is calling a cowl.  Or, a scarf that turned out too short.

Boss says this is a very easy pattern (dc 7, ch 3, turn) but difficult yarn.  I think Boss is showing off with the numbers and letters and actually does not have any idea what she is talking about.  She does not even know how to text.

Talker is not an attractive model.

This is a curly scarf.  I know.  I am the master of the obvious.  This is what happens when Boss gives too much instruction and does not let me just write the blog posts how I want.  I am reduced to writing captions that add nothing to the post whatsoever except for word count.  And I am not getting paid by the word, so it is silly.  In fact, I am not getting paid at all.  AT ALL.  But I have just been reminded that I am doing this because I love my people.  Even when they make me write useless captions.

The curly scarf even closer.  Boss says it is worked on the long edge and reminds her of the octopus doll the Mom of Boss made.  And then Boss gets a happy smile on her face and then wonders what happened to that octopus.  It was pink, she says.

Talker is not an attractive model.

These are the yarns that were used for the cowl and the curly scarf.  Boss says they were fun but annoying to take apart a lot.  But she did it anyway.

Boss tried to make lace.  Boss thinks she is maybe not meant to make lace.  Boss thinks lace might be dumb.

A closer look at the dumb lace.

I Am Sorry

So Boss has had the "surgery" word and it means that she does not move out of her chair or do much of anything at all.  I mean, even more not much of anything at all than normal.  In fact, Big One has been doing the cooking and Talker has been making bagels and cream cheese for Boss and Player has been asking "how are you feeling now?" a lot.  A LOT.  It is very much not normal around here. 

I understand that it is helpful to leave Boss alone and I tried very hard and I did such a good job for a lot of days but then today I just sort of forgot and got a little crazy.  And it is probably good that Boss is still not very perky or I would have been in some serious trouble.  Although if Boss was perky, she maybe would not have left the camera where it could have fallen on the very hard floor if a cat tempted me to jump up on the furniture and go a little crazy.  But that would be blaming Boss for me being naughty and that is a very bad idea.  I know this.  So I will say that I am sorry.  And I will pose pathetically by this sign that Boss made. 

And be glad she got the camera to work.

Look at how pathetic I am!  I made this sad face at Boss and she said that she could not be mad at me, and to cheer up, and that I was not in trouble, and to have a treat.  I am very much awesomeness at getting out of trouble! 

Look, a Squirrel!

Ha ha!  Made you look!  Oh, that is really funny and I am wagging my tail.  A lot.  A LOT.  But I am not wagging my tail at you, I am wagging my tail with you.  Right?  Yes, I thought so.

I was trying to come up with a clever way to tell you about the December reveal happening over at The ScrapRoom but I could not think of anything and Boss is not very helpful because she is the "busy" word and the "playing with yarn" words and the "seriously annoyed that the dog can not come up with a title all by himself" words and "I am not talking to the dog because his breath smells like that dead bird he just ate" words.

So I will leave Boss and her drama to herself.

But it was the words of Boss that made me think of the title, so I am thinking I am actually clever for getting her to help me after all!  Boss said the "dead bird" words and then I thought of other things that are delicious and delightful and lots of things came to mind.  Some I have mentioned before, like dead snails and happythankfulgivingness hams and hamburger wrappers and buttons and fish sandwiches.  Others I have not mentioned before, like squirrels, but that is just because there are so many delicious things in the world and I have not tasted them all.  Yet.

Speaking of delicious things I have not tasted yet, you can go to The ScrapRoom and see the pretty-paper-picture-story pages and cards that Boss and the rest of the team made for December.  And then come back here and try to find the squirrel in these up close pictures that Boss made of her pretty-paper-picture-story pages.  I bet that you do not find it.  Yes I am wagging my tail a lot.  A LOT!

That is not a squirrel.

That is not a squirrel.

And that is not a squirrel.  I can not believe you actually thought there was a squirrel in these pictures.

Hello Evalicious Friends!

So Boss tells me that we might be getting some new friends coming over from Evalicious today!  That means she wants me to be clear that this is the right blog to be coming to so that people do not click on the link from Evalicious and come here and then notice that this blog is not exactly what they were expecting and then click back to Evalicious and then click on the link there and come back here and say "I don't know what's going on, but I'm trying to get to Theresa's blog and I keep linking up to a blog that is apparently written by a dog with questionable grammar and atrocious run-on sentences."  Because that would be sad because you are in the right place!  And I am saying hello to you!  And I apologize in advance for my grammar but I do say right up in the upper right-hand corner of this blog that I am simple.  This means I get what is called "a free pass" for all that grammar stuff.

But I am maybe not being very clear.  I am maybe not being very clear because I am quite excited because Boss is jumping up and down and squealing girly little squeals and flapping her hands and making happy smiley faces at everyone this week because she is going to be designing for the Evalicious design team!  YES!!!  Can you believe it???  Boss is awesomeness.  She really, really is, and I hope you love her as much as I do.  Well.  Except she is not going to take you for walks or let you eat dead snails when she is not looking or let you sit in the car just for fun.

Go here and see what the fuss is all about.  I think you should buy me some of the new stamps because Boss is not letting me use her credit cards after what happened last time.

So I am saying hello to you and I am wagging my tail and am really REALLY happy for Boss that she gets to be hanging out with you and playing with Evalicious stuff!  Welcome to this blog and feel free to scroll and read and click to make pictures bigger and just have fun.  Because having fun is what we are about.  Oh, and cupcakes.  We are about the cupcakes.  Well.  Boss is about the cupcakes and I am hoping to someday have one.  But Boss is reminding me of the ham I just stole so I will be quiet about the cupcakes for a little bit longer. 

Oh.  One more thing.  I should warn our new Evalicious friends to not read the guest blogger posts.  They are completely the idea of Boss and sometimes, like this time, her ideas are not that clever.  That is because asking the bat crazy cat and this new cat to write blog posts results in terrible insulting posts that are poorly done and full of lies.  So maybe our new friends should not read those posts at all.  And maybe our old friends and peoples should not read them either.  In fact no one should read those posts.

So thank you for coming over to the blog of Boss.  She is still very super excited and keeps saying the "awesomeness!" word.  I think she will be like that for a very long time.  And that is awesomeness!

Steal a Ham! And Watch Sneak Week Happen!

With all the excitement of cookie eating, and stealing the ham, and then having a big accident on the carpet in the middle of the night (it might have been the ham)... I totally forgot it was sneak week over at The ScrapRoom until Boss poked me with her toe and told me to crawl out from under the cabinet where the heat comes out and to get the blog post written already.  Oh goodness.  I am a little feeling not well and maybe should learn my lesson about stealing hams but OH MY GOODNESS HAVE YOU EVER SMELLED A HAM?????  How does a very simple dog not steal a ham when he is given the opportunity to sneak out to where it is sitting and just taste it a little?  Or a lot, perhaps?  Heaven.  HEAVEN.

But now Boss is watching me carefully and has given the "no table scraps for the dog" words to all of the people here so I will be crawling back under the cabinet and curling up next to where the heat comes out.  And hoping to feel better.  And maybe getting another crack at the ham that Boss and Big One managed to save.  So go look at the December Sneak Peeks over at The ScrapRoom.  Here is the first one by Boss to get you going:

The pretty-paper-picture-story page that Boss made using the October Afternoon Midway kit from The ScrapRoom.  It is a picture of Big One before he got Big!

Boss likes to fuss and cut and do those words at the same time.  And sew.  And pile on layers.  But those do not have special words beyond "enough already" and "you can not make a page any thicker than that!"

Except when Boss can make the pages thicker by using flairs.  She giggled about this flair.  She also giggled about the Sew Easy banners that came with her kit.  She was very much loving those!

Happythankfulgivingness!

This is my new favorite word!  It has the words "happy" and "thankful" and "Thanksgiving" in them, which are all great words because the "Thanksgiving" word is all about being happy and thankful and decorating!  But "happythankfuldecoratinginvingness" is not easy to type or read and is on the slightly ridiculous side so I will stick with "happythankfulgivingness" and just tell you about the decorating part separately.

Boss says that Thanksgiving is her favorite holiday and based on the food that is here (oh please Mr. Larry can I have one more cookie???) and the people that my people love who are here (did you know Mr. Larry will feed me all the cookies I want if I look at him with my adorableness?) and the decorating that Boss has done (which Mr. Larry looked at while eating cookies), I can believe her.

No, the head of Talker is not part of the decorations.  But he matches the "color scheme" words going on here so I would be careful if I was him.

Our thankful tree.  Which Boss totally stole the idea of from this blog post.  Boss is a stealer.  And it turns out that this new cat totally loves this thankful tree and has gotten into a lot of trouble and has made Boss cry already.  Maybe this new cat is not so smart after all.

You are supposed to write what you are thankful for on the leaves of the thankful tree. This is what Boss wrote the day after the crying incident.  You will notice that this new cat has ripped this leaf and chewed on it but Boss very cleverly fixed it and wrote a reminder to herself on it.

Player helped me with my leaf.  I can type okay but holding a pen is really difficult for me.  Thank you, Player!  Happythankfulgivingness!

Washi Tape: Not A Fan

I am doing the words "under protest" today.  These are the words that are used when Boss says she wants a blog post about washi tape and how wonderful it is and I do not want to because I do not think washi tape is wonderful and in fact tastes terrible and then Boss puts her hands on her hips and gives me the frowny forehead face and reminds me where the delicious treats and bones come from.

Why we are now suddenly talking about the farm supply store down the road is a mystery to me, but I think Boss is feeling very emphatic about me writing a blog post about washi tape even if I do not want to so I will be doing the "under protest" words and moving on.

Boss also says this blog post will be easy to write because I can do the "shout out" words. "Shout out" is where you just copy a link to somewhere else and claim that you have done a blog post.  But I am a dog of integrity and will not be doing the "shout out" words.

What?  Oh.  Yes.  I will be doing the "shout out" words after all because Boss has become quite emphatic and has progressed from having a frowny forehead face to having an angry face and is also using words like "losing internet privileges" at me.  So maybe the "shout out" words are acceptable after all because I have already written a lot of words for this blog post and I have not copied any of these words from anywhere.

So Boss loves washi tape and describes it as "delicious" and "yummy" when it most certainly is not.  Most of the washi tape that Boss has comes from a place called Moose Art.  It is a shop on Etsy and I looked at it and I do not see mooses or art about mooses, so Moose Art most certainly is not who they claim to be.  You are maybe understanding why I did not want to write this blog post in the first place.  And Boss puts all of her washi tape in a holder like this one made by Stamp-n-Storage.  Finally, something that actually does make sense! Well, not the washi tape.  But Stamp-n-Storage is really a place that is what it says it is.  Which is why I am actually happy doing a "shout out" word to them.  And I am also happy to point out that the pictures that are used on that link has the hand of Boss in it!  (And the washi tape of Boss, but I am not excited about that.)  Yes!  Boss is famous and on the internet now!!!  Boss points out that The ScrapRoom stuff is also on the internet so she has been out there a little while now but I point out back that Stamp-n-Storage has her actual hand on the internet and not just pretty-paper-picture-story pages and then Boss replies that those pretty-paper-picture-story pages have her whole self shown on some of them and then I decide to not try to get the "last words" word and decide to move on.  And be done with this post.

The pink washi tape that Boss loves.  And I do not.  For many reasons.  Really, really not a fan.

Monday is Awesomeness

For a lot of reasons.  A LOT!  In fact, I think there are so many very good reasons that Monday is awesomeness that I will list them, in list form, in the form of a list that is list-like.  So here is the list:

• I am writing a blog post that you can read instead of doing not very fun things like laundry, washing dishes, or petting cats.
  
• I woke up this morning and discovered that I still live in a cozy house with couches that I am not supposed to be sleeping on but do.
  
• I woke up this morning and discovered my people still do not know that I am sleeping on the couches!
  
• I woke up this morning and discovered there is SNOW!
  
• Boss took me for a walk in the snow and she liked it.  A lot.  A LOT.  
  

Now I have to interrupt the list to show you a picture of the walk that Boss and I took this morning in the snow.  I am very proud of Boss.  It was our very first walk together in the snow and she did really, really good.  I did not know what to expect because she had not been in the snow with me before.  I understand that at her age she has been in the snow before but I was not sure how she would be doing on a walk with me.  She is a people with *experience* which is good because I would not be happy to be having to train very new people on snow and the delights of dead snails and squirrel farts and other important things.  So Boss went on a walk and did not complain about the snow or the cold or the icy sidewalk or ANYTHING.  So I am very proud.

I am walking in the snow and guiding Boss so she does not get lost.

Back to the list of the reasons why Monday is awesomeness list:

• Boss and Talker and Player left to go who knows where but accidentally left Big One at home.  This is actually awesomeness because he is delightful to be with.  He is very not observant and has no clue that I am on the couch in the other room while he is sticking wood pieces on the walls.
  
• Big One has gas.  Yum!
  
• Big One took me for a walk, too!  Turns out Big One is also very good in the snow!  I have most excellent people!!!
  
• Big One has a lot of gas.  A LOT.  Big One is kind of laughing about it and I am smiling my big doggie smile because OMG awesomeness!!!!!!  I told you Big One is delightful to be with!
  
• Big One is home so I am getting to be with the cats all day instead of being separated from the cats all day.  Normally you would think this is bad news but I am starting to like this new cat because he is not clawing me up as much as he used to and I am getting to play with him and gently bite him and lay on him every so often and this new cat seems to think I am super awesome fun to play with too so he is actually much smarter than I thought he might be in the beginning.
  

So now I will interrupt this list thing again to show you a picture of this new cat and me before I get him all full of my most excellent slobber!

This new cat tastes delicious.

And I will list even more things on the list of things that make Monday awesomeness:

• Talker and Player came home like usual and took me for ANOTHER walk.  I know, right?  This is super duper totally awesome.  My people seem to really like walking and I will not be complaining about that at all. AT ALL.
  
• And then I got a treat.  Again.  Like I always do after a walk.  Because I think that my people think I might be hungry after a walk but I am not really because I only walk at people speed, not dog speed.  So I am not really needing the "starving to death" words that Player and Talker use but I will eat the treat anyway and not complain.  
• Boss got home finally and made dinner which was the smell of deliciousness, by the way, and then took me to the grocery store!  And the gas station!!!!  I love going for van rides.  
• Then we got home (and I got yet another treat!) and then Boss made popcorn.  This is awesomeness because my people are not very good at eating popcorn neatly.  They are a little messy but that is okay because I am there to help them take care of popcorn messes.  I am helpful like that.  
  

Which leads me to my final reason why Monday is awesomeness:

• I am awesomeness.  I am on the Monday day.  Therefore, Monday is awesomeness.  
  

See?  Logic.  I am a very simple dog with very smart ideas.