Sunday, July 28, 2013

Vegetables Are Being Eaten Here

I may have to revisit my apocalyptic warnings.  I know I said that I was wrong about the end of the world, and the world ending, but I may actually be wrong about being wrong.  This would make me mistaken.  And in error.  Or just maybe I can say the "upon further review" words.  (Yes, that is a football reference.  My people are already starting to talk about football here.  Yes, I know.  The Lions are probably going to make Big One cry again.  But he has a tender heart, yes he does.  And those Lions just keep breaking it and and stomping on it and being mean and I would do something about it but have you seen those National Geographic specials?  Lions are bigger than me.  I am sorry, but they will bite me and eat my head for a snack.  So I will just comfort Big One during the football season that is to come.  I will be adorableness and he will not think about how I am not doing the killing and eating thing to the Lions.)

And the killing and eating thing is happening here with the vegetables.  And it is everybody who is doing it, not just Boss, and not just because she has sharp knives and no one else does.  It is because somehow vegetables from the farm are delicious.  And tasty.  And... and... no.  I just cannot comprehend this.  But I have seen it.  And Boss has pictures.  Of, yes, vegetables.  And the foods that are made with the vegetables.  Boss has finally found a way to get me to not ask for people food.  Feeding me lettuce is not funny.  No, it is not.

These are some vegetables that come from the rebelSoil farm place thing down the road.  Boss and Big One get to choose all the vegetables that come in the box and the box is picked up every Tuesday.  And you can bet Boss will be doing a lot of vegetable things Tuesday evenings around here.
These are some more of the vegetables that come from the rebelSoil farm place thing which are brought home in the box on Tuesday.  Fennel was not very good.  But the peas were.  I guess.  This is what Boss said as she ate all the peas at once when she unpacked the box.  Big One was slightly annoyed.  Actually, a lot annoyed.  A LOT.  Yes, that is right.  Big One was mad that Boss ate all the peas.  The end of the world is coming.  For reals this time.
And yet even more vegetables that come from the rebelSoil farm place thing which are brought home in the box on Tuesday.  And Boss ate all those peas too.  She was unrepentant.  They have all been enjoying the cabbages, kohlrabi, and radishes that Boss turned into slaw, and the rainbow chard has been a very pleasant surprise.  Again, this is what my people are saying.  I would not say or eat any of this ridiculousness.
Boss made quiche with rainbow chard, tarragon, and bacon (she says "real live quiche" but I really think it was probably technically dead).  Friend-the-deadly called out Boss for making vegetables edible by using bacon.  Boss said a vegetable is a vegetable even if it touches bacon.  And then she said the "neener neener" words.  I wagged my tail a lot.  A LOT.
The salad and the herbs in the dressing and the green stuffses in the pasta came from the farm.  The green stuffses are broccoli rabe and Boss is a huge fan now.  Even if she is not sure how to spell it and now I will look like a stupid dog with limited vocabulary and poor spelling skills because she will not go get the dictionary for me.
Boss is proud of this dish.  She made it up herself and will share the recipe with the rebelSoil farm peoples.  It is what Boss is calling a "Southern skillet" and has more of the lovely bacon and mustard greens and cornbread all in one pan.  Mustard greens are supposedly tasty also but again I am seriously doubting this as my people are perhaps a bit addled by all the vegetables around here.
The spring greens mix is amazing, says Boss, and so everyone eats salads around here.  A lot.  A LOT.  This is a taco salad.  No, the avocado did not come from the farm.  And neither did the tomato, but Boss says tomatoes are coming very very soon.  Oh boy.  (This is sarcasticness.)
And yet another salad with even more of the supposedly amazing spring green mix.  This is a chicken Caesar salad.  Big One grilled the chicken himself and actively participated in making and eating this salad.  And Big One and Player took seconds of it.  I mean, really?  Yes.  The end of the world is coming, and it is coming SOON.

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Epic Paper Bits Flying Everywhere, or May 2013 Teeny-Pretty-Paper-Picture-Story Pages

So we will doing some math stuffses now.

Boss got the April teeny-pretty-paper-picture-story pages done on the lastest day of June.  And now today Boss has finished the May teeny-pretty-paper-picture-story pages.  That is seven days.  Which is amazingness as that turns out to be 3.14 teeny-pretty-paper-picture-story pages per day which makes me curiously hungry for pie.  (This is a math joke.  Do not be sad if you do not get it.  Math is actually quite hard.)

So now I will be doing more math because I am more than just a simple dog.  I am a simple dog who knows how to count.  And I will claim that counting is math and I will be right because it is and I am.  Plus I am allowed the "benefit of doubt" words because I am just a dog and any attempt at the math stuffses should be met with admiration and love and cupcakes.

I have been counting the number of things that Boss puts in the teeny-pretty-paper-picture-story pages, which makes me think that Boss thinks some things are more important than others (there is a point to be made here... wait for it).
  1. Boss:  14 times (I suppose this is acceptable, as Boss is making the teeny-pretty-paper-picture-story pages from the pictures that she took)
  2. Food:  7 times (again, acceptable... and in fact, the more times Boss takes pictures of the food, the more times the food is left unwatched for just the right opportunity for me to eat it)
  3. Big One:  6 times (at first thought I know you would think Boss would like me better than Big One, but I am marginally less smelly than Big One and as we all know, smelly wins points with Boss!)
  4. Talker and flowers:  tied at 5 times each (okay, now I am seriously sadness at the fact that flowers are more better than me, except that now this explains all the yelling and frowny forehead faces when I wander into the flower garden of Boss)
  5. Grey and friends-of-Boss:  tied at 4 times each (finally I am on the list and I actually feel pretty good about this because Boss absolutely adores the friends-of-Boss and will not shut up about them which leads me to believe that friends-of-Boss probably are tired of hearing how wonderful I am too)
  6. Player:  3 times (oh, do not be sad, Player, because I love you possibly more than Boss does and I would be ashamed if I was her for not featuring you more often in her pages)
  7. Mr. Larry:  2 times (I think if he fed me more cookies, he would have been featured more often... just saying)
  8. Yarn things:  1 time (thank goodness)
  9. The bat crazy cat and this new cat:  no times.  Yes, that is right.  No times.  I am doing the "fist pump" words here now.  HAHAHA!  I am featured a hundred million gabillion zillion infinity more times than the bat crazy cat and this new cat because you can not divide by zero and get a reasonable answer.  No, you can not.
May 2013 Teeny-Pretty-Paper-Picture-Story Pages

Thursday, July 4, 2013

What Took So Long, or April 2013 Teeny-Pretty-Paper-Picture-Story Pages

I actually know the answer to this question.  What took so long is life.  Boss says it is the root cause of all her problems.  But then she gets distracted by this thought and then goes off on this long rambling discourse on how life is actually filled with wonderful stuffses and when there is no time to get the pretty-paper-picture-story pages done, that means there is pictures and memory things happening RIGHT NOW so there will always be pretty-paper-picture-story pages to work on later.  Then Boss started talking about how memories are really like acorns and walnuts and other things that squirrels put away for winter... and then I stopped listening because I got distracted by the "squirrel" word and started wondering how one would actually taste if they would just come a little bit closer.  I mean, really?  Can they not just come within the area that I am allowed to go?  Make it at least fair, squirrels.  Taunting me from places I can not reach is just really not niceness.

Oh.  Sorry.  Boss has already talked to me once about letting these posts degenerate into discussions on squirrels.  So I will show you the teeny pretty-paper-picture-story pages from April.  There are actually a lot of them because my peoples went on a very nice vacation thing.  Without me.