Thursday, October 31, 2013

Proof That Boss Is Cheating On Me

So Boss says it just happened by accident.  But I have the proof on video, yes I do.

Boss says she was just going to look at the most beautifulest and most amazingness desk at the Stamp-n-Storage place.  But I saw what happened, yes I did.

It was not the plan, says Boss.  The camera crew was not supposed to be there.  But Boss certainly looks happy.

Boss says she was not even saying real words when this was being filmed but I now know that Boss has been with other dogs.  And it will cost her a lot of pepperoni to make it all better between us.  A LOT.  Like, more than three.  Possibly five.  Yes, five!

Boss says that the part with her in it only lasts like 2 seconds and that this video is really all about the ohmigorgeous Stamp-n-Storage desk.  Boss says that there is really a long story that goes with this and that it would better if she could explain it and then I would not be feeling so peckish.  That might be true, but I will be thanking the Stamp-n-Storage peoples for letting me know that Boss is easily distracted by cute little dogs.  Furthermore, I have some sad puppy eyes to make now so I will not be having the kind of time it takes to listen to stories and write them out for you.  Anything for the pepperoni, yes?  And possibly a cupcake.  I am awesomeness like that!  Yes I am.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Boss Can Not Stay Away From the Evalicious Deliciousness

So Boss did notice that Evalicious has new delicious Evalicious goodies.  Evalicious is amazingness that way, you know?  Well.  This is what Boss says.  I have yet to find a cupcake addressed to me from the Evalicious shop, but I am quite hopeful.  Maybe I should send the Evalicious peoples an email.  Boss is doubtfulness about this working as cupcakes are notoriously difficult to ship across international borders.

International borders... ???

Where is this Evalicious stuffses actually from?

Canada, says Boss.  But Boss gives me the "zip it" gesture in a most emphatic way.  "We are not going there AGAIN," says Boss.  "We are not going to risk the wrath of the entire country of Canada," says Boss.  "We were lucky last time," says Boss.  "Besides, Evalicious is nowhere near Ontario," says Boss.  "Would you like to go for a walk?" says Boss.

Oh yes.  YES I WOULD!!!!!  Yes!  Yes!!!  YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Then you will be showing the Evalicious deliciousness I made so we can go!" says Boss.

I can take a hint.

Project Life with Evalicious:  So what do tasty balls of yarn and Talker at the doctor place have in common?  Nothing.  But Boss says that sometimes the life thing just happens and in this moment in time, all there was in her life was Talker at the doctor place and tasty balls of yarn.  I do not agree.  There could be a whole page of me but no. 
Boss is very much liking these puffy stickers.  I tried to like them too but Boss said the "no" word and snatched it away from me.  Boss also loves that there is a very nice combination of colors on the new Evalicious stuff.  Boss uses a lot of teal.  Or is it aqua?  Perhaps it is light green.  I have no idea.  And I am not sure a simple dog such as myself needs to worry about that, actually.
Boss likes to cut out the Evalicious tags sometimes.  She is unpredictableness that way.
Boss said "ooooooh" when she found a whole sheet of round sticker things in her Evalicious package.  "They are even more amazing than you think they will be," says Boss.  And they are a dream to print on.  I guess.  (Boss said this also but I am getting tired of doing the dialog thing.)  Boss says the printing is glossy and beautiful but the place to write or print is not glossy so the words do not just fall right off.
Traditional Layout with Evalicious:  Oh, yes.  I knew that a pretty-paper-picture-story page documenting the new obsession of Boss would have to happen.  And it seems to have happened in the most distressingly pink way possible.  Although Boss has put in just a touch of green.  And this is somehow a different color of green than what Boss used before.  This is more like... like... oh goodness.  I do not really care.  Do you?
Boss shows how the new Evalicious stuff is wonderful stackingness and layeringness.  "And pink!" says Boss.  I know.  We can see that quite clearly.  At this point, I wish to go on record as saying that I wish dogs really were color blind.  Because then all this pink stuffses would not be so bothersome after all.
More stacking and pink.  I am moving on.
Card with Evalicious:  Awwwww, a very nice card with very tasty ribbon.  I know this is true because Boss let me snack on the leftover bit.  It squeaks delightfully in my teeth!  And if you are lucky enough to get this card, you can chew on it also! 
More of the puffy sticker, round sticker, and large tag thing in that color that Boss likes.  At least there is no pink!

Because Boss is encouragingness like she is, here are all the Evalicous deliciousness you need to buy and taste.  Or you could just put it on your teeny pretty-paper-picture-story pages, regular pretty-paper-picture-story pages, and card things if you are not hungry when your package arrives from Canada-no-where-near-Ontario:

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Boss Got A Little Overwhelmed, or August Teeny Pretty-Paper-Picture-Story Pages

So Boss was zipping right along on the teeny pretty-paper-picture-story pages and then Player and Talker went to Florida.  And of course Mr. Larry and mom-of-Boss took lots of amazingness photos and had lots and lots of fun times with Player and Talker (and not us).  And Boss is always happiness when pictures and things-not-pictures-but-that-tell-the-story-anyway come back with the boys from the Florida place because then it is like they were there but do not have to actually stop going to the work place and not have to do all the relaxing things and also especially not be forced to do the hanging out with fun people stuffses.  Because that would be a thing of sadness.

You are not buying any of that nonsense, are you?  No, I am not either.  But that is the sort of thing that Boss says to make it not so sad that the boys went on vacation and we did not.  And it is the sort of thing that Boss says when all those pictures and things-not-pictures-but-that-tell-the-story-anyway come back with the boys from the Florida place and Boss has not stopped taking the pictures of the work place and the foods that we were eating (well, not me most of the time) or the places we were going (again, not me as I seem to get left home quite often).  And then Boss realizes that there are a lot of pictures to turn into teeny pretty-paper-picture-story pages and that the stupid graph she made to track her progress is actually mean and hurtful when the green line does not go down very fast.

But Boss figured out how to make the graph look nice.  Boss just gets so busy making teeny pretty-paper-picture-story pages that she does not have time to order more pictures.  And then the graph looks nice.  Which means that Boss wants to share it RIGHT NOW, because she has just ordered 75 photos and will have to add them to the graph when they arrive.  But right now Boss has the nerdly numbers that show she is awesomeness.  And not overwhelmed at all.

Since the green line was not moving very much, Boss added average lines of average value, in my opinion.  Boss is happy if the orange line is above the yellow line, but I think that Boss should stop playing with the graph things and just work on the teeny pretty-paper-picture-story pages.  Oh, and get me a pepperoni now and then.  I like pepperoni.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

My Peoples Are (Almost) Hardcore

So we went camping this weekend.  Yes we did!  Even though my peoples knew it was going to be cold and raining and snowing, they insisted on doing this thing.  This is hardcore.  Boss says that if they have to pop up the camper to get it ready for the winter, then they will be doing it in a nice place and staying inside of it.  I suggested Arizona.  Boss merely laughed and then explained that there was the "electricity" word at the park and that there would be a warm furnace and lots of blankets.  So this is almost hardcore, I guess.  But I am a dog with very little hair and a great fondness for heat, so I was not terribly excited to see the "snow" word.  But I was outvoted.  And the snow came anyway.

So it is already not looking good for me.  It is the "snow & rain" words and we are not even to the place where my peoples will park the van and leave me unattended for what seems like the longest half hour ever while they go eat babies the size of burritos.  What?  Oh.  Sorry, that is burritos the size of babies.  Either one sounds delicious to me.  What?  Oh.  Boss says that sort of comment is why dogs such as me are not allowed in Ontario.  For reals.  Go look it up here and scroll down to the "import" section.  This is going to ruin my super awesome vacation next fall because my peoples are going to go without me now.  I am sadness.
Oh but now I am happy again!  Look at how beautiful and handsome and robust and beautiful and handsome and robust I am!  What?  Yes.  I did mean to say that twice.  It is because I met two super awesomeness fantastic DNR officers on this dock and they declared me beautiful and handsome and robust.  Oh, and happy.  Yes, I was great happiness to be meeting very fine DNR officers with such pleasing and discerning taste in dogs such as myself.  You can not find a more beautiful and handsome and robust and happy dog anywhere else.  Especially not in Ontario, but I am not bitterness about that at all.  AT ALL.
This is the water of Mille Lacs Lake splashing on the rocks of Mille Lacs Lake where the Father Hennepin State Park is.  Yes, I understand that "Mille Lacs" means One Thousand Lakes in French, so it is actually One Thousand Lakes Lake, but I am guessing it was probably named by people in Ontario, so I am not surprised by this foolishness.  What?  Oh.  Boss explains to me that friend-the-gazelle lives in Ontario.  And to not be offensive to friend-the-gazelle.  And furthermore it was not every person in Ontario to make that silly rule, it was only a few and they found it easier to ban dogs such as myself than shoot stupid people with dog such as myself.  What?  Oh, yes yes yes.  I understand that shooting people is probably a little bit of an exaggerationism, but I was making a point.  I think.
Oh look I am adorableness again.  Well, I am blending in and hard to see, but it looks like I am finding a delicious snack of something dead washed up on the shore of the One Thousand Lakes Lake.  Like a dead ----  What?  Boss is giving me the frowny forehead face and is making emphatic arm and hand gestures.  Oh.  Boss says I am to drop the whole Ontario + ban of dogs such as me sub-topic on the immediatelyness.  Or there will be NO pepperoni at pizza making time.  Well.  I am perfectly willing to be bribed so I guess I will not be mentioning ----
At this point of our hike Boss got a little girly (please note there is not rain or snow or anything unpleasant OF ANY KIND in this picture).  Boss started saying things like "love being here with you" and "I am so glad we came" and "I do not feel bad the boys did not want to go with us" and I was looking at Boss with love and devotion because of that but she was not making eye contact with me because she was so busy staring and making googly eyes at Big One.  Hello!  I am here.  Right here.  Down heeeeeeerrrrreeeeeee....
And now Boss sits on a rock and calls it a photo opportunity.  I jumped up on the rock but did not like it one bit.  No I did not.  Boss did not understand why but she was trying to make me sit and have you ever put your wiener on a cold cold cold rock?  No?  Well, I do not recommend it.
When we got back to the camper, Player and Talker were in the same place as when we left them.  They both read a lot of books and did not move much.  They were very much happiness about this, especially because they ate many of the "pop-tart" things.  They are poisonous to dogs, they said, and so ate them all up themselves to save me from certain destruction.  Which I am not going to comment on and divert this caption to the forbidden topic.  But it certainly would flow nicely.  I am pretty much awesomeness at stringing many complex and complicated topics together in one smoothly flowing dialog.
Let us just say that when some of the eggs get slightly frozen in the cooler I get to eat them and it turns out I adore chomping them up.  With every inch of my ferociously dangerous teeth.  I should be banned from eating them.  What?  Oh.  Boss is getting very angry.  She is paying very much attention to my typingism.  "NO MORE," says Boss.  Okay.  So here is the foods on this plate:  deviled eggs, apples & dip of apples, crackers, pepper jack cheese, and jalapeno cheddar sausage.  This is what my peoples ate for dinner.  There was much and great happiness with this.
When it gets dark, Boss puts the very sexy headlamp on and makes yarn things.  I thought the "sexy" word meant something a little different than this, but I am merely a simple dog and probably do not understand quite a bit of things, actually.
It is snowing!  Boss is great excitedness about this, but Big One is the "practical" words and says it will not be the most funnest thing ever to put away the camper.  Because Boss is hardcore and Big One is only almost hardcore.
Oh look!  There I am, hiding in the van.  Turns out I am not hardcore at all.  And Player is almost hardcore because he has a cold and was sent to keep me company in the van of warm and dry.  And Talker, Big One, and Boss are the most hardcore and wet and cold and grinning like crazy Minnesota peoples in the snow.  Talker ended up getting so soggy and wetness and cold that he took off all his clothes in the van and changed into something dry.  I mean that Talker put on dry clothes, not that he actually turned into something else.  Like a... a... warm beach in Arizona.  What?  There is no warm beach in Arizona?  Perhaps you are mistaken and we should go look.
Boss says this is a great way to end the pictures of our trip to the One Thousand Lakes Lake.  It is snowing and my peoples are happy and the camper is (almost) ready for winter.  Apparently it has to be opened up again so it can dry out.  But Boss says that can be done in the driveway.  What?  I know.  Apparently this trip was just for fun after all.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Boss Will Not Be Doing The Concentrating Thing

Do you know how frustrating it is to write a blog for peoples who start five hundred million bajillion things and do not finish them?  Or who chase after all sorts of funness willy-nilly?  Or just tell you that they will help upload pictures later after they go for a really long wander-about in the woods?

And when I am hearing that sort of stuff, I also forget I have a job to do for my peoples.  And then I go run around in the woods too and find all sorts of things to sniff and taste and then suddenly this blog is going nowhere fast.  But I think it is goodness to be out doing and playing and gathering up the fun stuffses to write about later.

And the fun stuff to be coming later is very much some of the fun stuff you have gotten used to on this blog and it is also some new stuffses too.

You can be sure there will be many many MANY teeny pretty-paper-picture-story pages.  Boss is working on the Augustness ones and is trying to feel bad about the slowness of it but she does not care really.  Because Boss loves the "strike while the iron is hot" words which means if you bother her about doing things when she does not feel like doing things because she is doing other things, she will hit you with a really hot hammer.  I think.  There is really no other explanation for these words.

And there will be regular pretty-paper-picture-story pages.  With the sketch things.  And not with the sketch things.

And also the yarn things.  There are yarn things.  Lots of yarn things.  You will not believe the amazingness that is happening with the yarn around here.  Boss is even doing a little bit of the "designing with yarn" words.  This makes Boss sweat a little.  But also smile.  And smileness is awesomeness.

Boss is also taking a lot of pictures.  A LOT.  Because Boss is always about the camera.  Because without the picture things, there will be no teeny pretty-paper-picture-story pages.  Or regular pretty-paper-picture-story pages.  Or just blog posts with pictures of the things that Boss has taken pictures of.

And finally, Boss has a little surprise for you.  And a long story thing to go with the surprise.  But it will not be for today, it will be for some other day because Boss says it is time to go for a walk.  Like right now.  Because there is a big hot hammer that will hit us if we do not go.  I think.