Playing Catch Up Is Not A Fun Game

So one of the things I am supposed to do around here besides killing and eating intruders is to share the pretty-paper-picture-story pages of Boss when she gets them done.  But if I am sleeping or chewing on my favorite bone, I am not so good at remembering the killing, eating, or sharing thing very well.  I have tried giving Boss the puppy dog eyes and whining a little (but only a little, and only in a cute little delicate way and not annoying at all) when she looks at me in all exasperatedness when my blog posts are devoted to squirrels and hamburger wrappers instead of her very nice pretty-paper-picture-story pages but that only works for so long and then I have to focus on doing whatever it was I promised in the first place.

I think I promised to eat lots of cupcakes.  Yes, that seems reasonable. 

October 2000:  This picture is so old that it was almost taken in the 1900s.  They almost did not have cameras back then.  They certainly did not have any fashion sense, that is for sure.   And now Boss is giving me the squinty eyeball and frowny forehead look.  She says she was hot.  I guess I would be hot too if I had to wear a plastic-y looking jacket.  Except I am sure plastic was not invented back then.  Oh, and Boss would like me to tell you where the papers came from.  This is from The ScrapRoom.

June 2009:  Again with Boss and more hotness.  Because this is Florida in the summer!!!  That is crazy hotness.  Boss is a big fan of this kit from The ScrapRoom.  It is Maggie Holmes which is just the style of Boss.  Which is a nice way of saying too many patterns mixed together, but you did not hear that from me.

October 2009:  Boss insists that you can take any impossible photo to match colors to and there will be BasicGrey paper that is perfectness.  And awesomeness.  And BasicGreyness!  So you will not be surprised that Boss got this paper from BasicGrey in a Page of the Month Kit.  She is a fan.  A really big fan.  They are named after me, I think.

November 2009:  Okay, so Boss is really excited about sequins.  She got this kit from Cocoa Daisy and it came with sequins.  Which she did not like at first.  But it was because she was very much not understanding how to use them without using the swearing words.  But then Boss did the google thing and found out that glossy accents is a good glue.  Which made her say the "duh" word.  Oh, about the Cocoa Daisy kit?  Boss can not help it.  She loves paper.  All paper.  And she loves kits.  She can not help it.  She tried to feel bad about loving more than one paper kit company but she can not do that either.  She says she is good at loving more than one thing at one time because she has me and the boybarians.  And the cats I suppose.

July 2010:  So this is Boss fishing and being amazing at it.  I know, right?  She is almost a better boybarian than the boybarian horde themselves.  But do not tell them I said so.  Oh, and this paper came from The ScrapRoom.  It is October Afternoon and Boss adores it also. 

August 2010:  Did you know we have very many most wonderful and awesomeness God-kids?  Well, it is true.  This is the Alex one.  Boss used a kit from the Paper Bakery and their sketch thing.  Yes, that is right.  Boss is now getting lots and lots of paper and refuses to be ashamed by that nonsense.  She says it is very much creative sparkness and opens her eyes to new ways of doing things.  I think she is just using the excuse words but whatever.

August 2010:  More of the most excellent ScrapRoom paper and the most excellent camping stuff that Boss and Big One and Talker and Player enjoy.  I have gone camping two times already and agree that it is pretty much better than anything.  Well.  It is not quite better than a squirrel carrying a hamburger wrapper right in front of me with my lead being not securely fastened.  The "camping" words are almost that awesome.  Almost.

February 2013:  LOOK!!!!  IT IS ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  THIS IS AWESOMENESS!!!!!!  Oh, and it is Cocoa Daisy paper.  And no sequins thank goodness.

April 2013:  It is a frame thingy.  With a picture of Boss and Big One being adorableness.  I just want to push them into the ocean and then pee on their heads.  Because I did not get to go to the "belize" place and it looks like it was funtastic.  Boss agrees that it was awesomeness.  Like this Pink Paislee paper from The ScrapRoom.  She is pretending to not notice the statement about peeing on their heads.  She is tired from being the "mom" word today so I am getting away with extra snotiness.  Yes, my tail is wagging.  A lot.  A LOT.

May 2013:  These are the friends-of-Boss and she says she loves them very muchness.  You can not see friend-the-tallandstately in this picture but she was everywhere that weekend.  In the refrigerator too, apparently.  I am confused by this but Boss promises a totally amazingness and hilarious pretty-paper-picture-story page that shows this.  And this paper is from the Paper Bakery, which Boss met when she was with her friends.  And bought.  The paper, not the friends.  They are apparently priceless.  ???

May 2013:  Okay, I am not longer a big fan of mom-of-Boss.  I did not know she was documenting this and ratting me out to Boss.  And to make it worse, Boss used all those stupid sequins from Cocoa Daisy again.  This is probably very bad for me.  Boss will not share her popcorn with me if I am hogging her chair and her blanket and her prayer shawl.  I think I need to use the puppy dog eyes again.  Oh, and maybe the "prayer" words would help. 

Boss Says To Worry

So Boss has made another wall thing for her scrap room.

She got the idea from the people over at the Message Board at The ScrapRoom.  Except I do not think that Boss really understood what was going on because this wall thing seems wrong.  It is supposed to be a word that is an important word.  A good word.  An honorable word.  A word that deserves lots of thinking about.  Like "ham" or "fart" or "pepperoni" or "car" or "walk" or "dead thing" (but that last one was actually two words; it is just an example).

Boss made a wall thing with a word on it that is actually a word she does not like. 

Boss says it is actually a good word because it is silly and a counterpoint to what she actually wants to do.  And she says that it will startle her into thinking about how the word is actually a bad word.  What?  I know.  She said it was a good word because it is actually a bad word.  It is really hard to live here and keep up with what is going on sometimes.  Apparently, the Bible verse hanging on the tag thingy is what turns the bad word into a good word or whatever it is that Boss said.

Now, I am a simple dog.  But this I understand.  I have eaten the Bible.  It is delicious.  When it happened, Big One said I was now filled with the spirit and that made Boss laugh.  And then she gave me the frowny forehead face that was the same as before Big One made her laugh.  But the Bible is good for many things like that.  So I guess this word thing makes sense.  A little.

Do not actually follow this instruction.  Boss is trying to be clever.

Happythankfulgivingness!

This is my new favorite word!  It has the words "happy" and "thankful" and "Thanksgiving" in them, which are all great words because the "Thanksgiving" word is all about being happy and thankful and decorating!  But "happythankfuldecoratinginvingness" is not easy to type or read and is on the slightly ridiculous side so I will stick with "happythankfulgivingness" and just tell you about the decorating part separately.

Boss says that Thanksgiving is her favorite holiday and based on the food that is here (oh please Mr. Larry can I have one more cookie???) and the people that my people love who are here (did you know Mr. Larry will feed me all the cookies I want if I look at him with my adorableness?) and the decorating that Boss has done (which Mr. Larry looked at while eating cookies), I can believe her.

No, the head of Talker is not part of the decorations.  But he matches the "color scheme" words going on here so I would be careful if I was him.

Our thankful tree.  Which Boss totally stole the idea of from this blog post.  Boss is a stealer.  And it turns out that this new cat totally loves this thankful tree and has gotten into a lot of trouble and has made Boss cry already.  Maybe this new cat is not so smart after all.

You are supposed to write what you are thankful for on the leaves of the thankful tree. This is what Boss wrote the day after the crying incident.  You will notice that this new cat has ripped this leaf and chewed on it but Boss very cleverly fixed it and wrote a reminder to herself on it.

Player helped me with my leaf.  I can type okay but holding a pen is really difficult for me.  Thank you, Player!  Happythankfulgivingness!

Boss Has Good Stuff

It has been a good week for Boss. Since Talker is finished and Player is lost, Boss says she is loving staying home and playing. There are two things wrong with this statement. First of all, Boss is not really home. She still spends most of the time gone somewhere else. I do not know where she is but she comes home smelling like tea, paper, and a deliciously disgusting computer keyboard. I will not pretend to guess what Boss is doing because I do not want to be accused of having bat crazy ideas. That is what the bat crazy cat does - not me. Also, when Boss says the word "play" she does not mean the good kind of play that means rolling in the grass or chasing the frisbee or teasing the cats or running from this room to that room to this room to that room over and over and over again until flopping down and having to pant a lot and making a big smile and sticky slobber at nearby people. No, when Boss says the word "play" she means the boring kind of play that means cutting paper and talking to herself and messing with the music thing and walking back and forth and back and forth and back and forth between the paper and the computer, and sometimes carrying the paper.

But I will tell you that I like it when Boss does boring playing most of the time. This is because Boss will sing and make happy faces and tell me that I am good when I am just laying there and keeping an eye on her. Boss is sometimes very simple, I think. I especially like it when Boss sings Adele at me because her happy face gets happier and she sings right at me and makes silly lovey faces. Boss singing Adele at me is much preferred to Boss singing Linkin Park at me. I close my eyes and pretend to sleep when this is happening because I am a little worried that Boss will make eye contact with me while singing Linkin Park and I will get confused by the angry noises and frowny forehead face and then I might think I am in trouble and then I might accidentally leave the room and then I won't be able to keep an eye on Boss. And that is important.

It is important for me to keep an eye on Boss because she might drop caramel corn on the floor. It is delicious and she has some in a bag by the computer. I am always listening for the sound of that bag opening because Boss can not resist my puppy-dog eyes and adorableness. She pretends to drop the caramel corn on the floor because she can not resist me. I am awesome at getting caramel corn. The other reason it is important for me to keep an eye on Boss is because she makes pretty-paper-picture-story pages that I really like and want to share with you. I will show you what she has been making this week and I am finally done waiting for the one that was on the table being worked on. I will not mention that this one took four days to finish and that I was tired of waiting for it a long time ago. I will not mention that Boss was making swearing sounds at the buttons that are on the page. I will just move on before Boss notices that I am talking about that pretty-paper-picture-story page that took forever to make.  Oh.  I think I should also remind you of the rule that Boss has about not showing people who are not our people on the pretty-paper-picture-story pages that Boss makes.  So the pretty-paper-picture-story page that I am not discussing with you?  I can not show all of it.  I can only show you the buttons that Boss made swearing noises at.

For a BasicGrey Sketch Challenge.  These are not the swearing buttons.

These are the swearing buttons!

Boss also made a few pages that are just pretty-paper and not pretty-paper-picture-stories.  I think this is interesting but confusing.  I also think it is interesting but confusing that Boss put them on the wall.  I think they are pretty but they are a little boring.  Especially since they do not feature me.  Oh!  Yes!  I think that is what would make them better.  I think I will let Boss know that I have figured out how to make the pretty-paper-hung-on-the-wall things better and more exciting!  I think you should look at these pictures and then comment that you agree with me and that these pretty-paper-hung-on-the-wall things need a picture of me added to them.  Then Boss will have to agree too and fix them!

The one Boss added BasicGrey paper to.  You can make one too!

The one Boss took a picture of, changed the colors of with the "Photoshop" word, and then reprinted small.  This is Fancy Pants Be You paper.  No, I do not understand anything I just typed.