Tuesday, July 31, 2012

The New Cat is a Hater...

... of me.  And only me.  I think I am not going to enjoy this new cat as much as my people enjoy this new cat.  Probably the best thing about this new cat is how bat crazy the bat crazy cat is going to get once she finds out.  Maybe the bat crazy cat will focus on how this new cat is part of a bat crazy plan to take over the best part of the litter box and will stop making bat crazy comments about my people.

All I want to do is get a really good sniff of the new cat but the "No!" word is being used a lot.  A LOT.  And the squirt bottle is making an unwelcome appearance.  And this new cat hates me anyway.  So I am being pouty.  And I do not want to show you the new cat because you will like this new cat too and not find me as adorable as I was before the new cat got here.  I am still just as adorable.  And this pouty face on me is adorable too so do not forget that I am the adorable one here.

This new cat is not as adorable as you think.  Really.

Monday, July 30, 2012

Boss Gets Carded

Oh!  See that!  You have that "what did that fool dog just say?" look on your face!  That is because I was very clever with my title, yes I was.  It is a funny title because everyone knows that Boss is so old that no one will ask her how old she is but you were looking at the title wondering what I was talking about anyway.  Yes.  I am clever!

And so is Boss!  She has made cards for the The ScrapRoom that are different than the cards that Boss usually makes for The ScrapRoom.  Oh.  I see that I have not done a very good job here.  I will have to show you the other cards that Boss makes for The ScrapRoom sometime.  Oh.  And the other cards that Boss has made, especially the Cosmo Cricket ones.  I think I should point out that Cosmo Cricket is a silly name.  Boss is making a frowny forehead face at me now.  Boss says that animals named after rocks should not call names at paper manufacturers.  Especially ones that Boss likes.  Oh.  That is a good point.  But maybe Cosmo Cricket should think about adding "Grey" to their name somewhere.  What?  Oh.  Boss is looking at me again and saying that my idea has already been done and to move on before I become offensive.  What?  I do not understand.  I am a very simple dog and I am just trying to do this blog post.  I do not need all the frowny forehead help.  No, I do not.

It is very big news over at The ScrapRoom today.  I have gotten an email that shows the cards that Boss makes that everyone can make, too.  What?  You have that look on your face again.  I am not being silly.  This is not so hard to believe is it?  Yes, I get email.  I write a blog.  This is not that big of a surprise.  You will not believe how simple all of this really is.  Now pay attention.  The cards that Boss makes that you can make too are available in a kit at The ScrapRoom.  Remember, a kit is paper.  The paper is paper that is shipped with other paper.  Do not roll your eyes at me.  We established this fact last week.  And for some reason this paper is not secret paper.  I do not pretend to understand this at all. 

Go here to see the cards that Boss made that you can make too.  After you follow my clever little linky thing, you can have some very close looks at the cards that Boss made that you can make too.  I think looking at the cards very close is almost like smelling them.  But not quite, because they do not smell like anything much except paper.  And a little bit of coffee.  No dead snails.  I am quite sad.  


Saturday, July 28, 2012

Player Is Lost

I am hearing a lot about Player being lost, but I do not understand as he fed me two times today, walked me one time, and played with me a lot.  A LOT.  Because that is what Player does, is play with me.  Sometimes he giggles and runs and chases and gets me a little wound up and then I have to get told the "NO!" word in a very loud voice.  Which I think is silly, because I am right here and I can hear you.  The "NO!" word does not have to be so loud.  No, it does not.  And when I do not listen to the "NO!" word it is not because I did not hear it.  It is because Player got me a little wound up.  But sometimes Player sits next to me and plays with my ears and my jowls.  I think he thinks I am adorable with my ears curled up into little rolled up velvety ear burritos.  I like burritos.  I think Player should feed me burritos when he is done being lost.

Player apparently got lost at the baseball game a few nights ago.  Now I am even more confused.  Player is on Big One's team.  How Big One could lose a kid wearing bright orange socks is a little bit of a mystery.  I mean, Big One seems to lose things, or at least, not find things on a regular basis.  This makes Boss have a frowny forehead face when she talks to Big One about where something is.  But Boss is not making that face at Big One for losing Player.  And Player is here.  I just checked.  He is not lost.  I do not understand, so maybe I will tell you exactly what I heard, and let you try to figure out this nonsense.  I have decided that baseball is not simple, and that I am glad we are not going to any more games.  Because this "lost" word has to do with the "baseball" word.

Apparently Player was in the World Series.  Yes!  Oh!  How exciting!  Player must be a very, very good player of baseball to go to the World Series!  Boss is rolling her eyes at me.  She says to calm down.  Yes, Player was in the World Series, but it was the World Series of this town which has seven teams.  Oh.  Wow.  I had no idea the world was so small.  I had sort of thought that it was bigger.  At least, it seems bigger on Google Earth.  Apparently Player was in the World Series and he played in the tie-breaker game which has nothing to do with destroying neckwear (see, told you this baseball thing is confusing) and his team tried so very hard and did a very good job and were very good teammates and players but got lost.  So now I am thinking Big One lost an entire team of baseball players but this is not actually the case because they all went out and drank pops and laughed and had a good time after they all stopped crying.  Because getting lost is scary and sad at the same time.  Player and his friends do not have very good sniffers so they can not get lost and find their own way home by following the little drops of pee that a dog like me leaves whenever I walk so that I can find my way home if Boss forgets which way to go and I must save her like the wonderful and fantastic dog that I am!  Oh!  Yes!  I am fantastic!

So Player is lost but not lost.  And Player is not only a player of dog ears but a player of baseball.  Player is good at both, and I am glad.

Boss took some pictures of Player earlier this year, before his hat and his shirt got so disgusting that he won the "Most Disgusting Hat" and "Most Disgusting Shirt" contests after they got lost at the World Series game.  Boss is looking forward to washing them both.  Yes.  She said that.  Yes, I am surprised and confused about that too.  This whole blog post is confusing, I have decided, so I think I will stop and just show the pictures now.
Player practices throwing at Number 1.
Big One and Player discuss strategy.  Or Dairy Queen.  Which they do not share with me at all.
Boss takes pictures behind a fence.  Boss says it is artistic.  I do not agree.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

August Sneaks are Here!

Um. Let me just tell you that the cat is bat crazy and it was not my idea to let her post. I do not care if she is bored of wearing a cone and tired of living in the bathroom for two weeks. I do not care if the pain medication may be making her a little more bat crazy than normal (I can not tell the difference but Boss says I should give her the "benefit of the doubt" which means to mind my own business and not be so grumpy about it). I do not care if the bat crazy cat knows how to type. She is bat crazy and should not be allowed to blog. I think. But Boss said to let her, so I did. I did this because I love Boss and I will do whatever I can to make her and my people happy, even letting a bat crazy cat write a blog post and make bat crazy statements about MY PEOPLE.

Anyway. Enough about the bat crazy cat.

Boss is very excited, and as usual it is about her pretty-paper-picture-story pages. She is sometimes simple like that. Takes simple to know simple, and I am a very simple dog. Boss is excited about the words "August Sneaks" and "The ScrapRoom". Boss has been making pretty-paper-picture-story pages for The ScrapRoom since May. Actually, I think it is important to tell you that Boss has been making pretty-paper-picture-story pages for The ScrapRoom since I have lived here. I think that is a very interesting coincidence that the bat crazy cat should investigate instead of the bat crazy things that the bat crazy cat thinks about. I think it is very clear that Boss has become a designer for The ScrapRoom because I have brought being creative and cutting paper and making messes to my people! Boss is ecstatic about this idea! Boss says that "ecstatic" is not exactly the word she would use to describe this idea. But I think it is close enough. My vocabulary is very awesome good.

If you want to see the pretty-paper-picture-story page Boss made for the "August Sneak" word, you can go here and find it. (See how clever I am? I know how to make clever linky things so you can spend countless hours on the internet clicking and reading and following and clicking and reading and following and clicking clicking clicking.) Or you can just stay here and see the pretty-paper-picture-story page and make it even bigger by clicking on it. See, I am clever again! You do not have to go anywhere to do the clicking clicking clicking!

It is some kind of secret about the kind of paper that Boss used. I think this is silly. I think it is not much of a secret. I will tell you that the paper is from The ScrapRoom and that it comes in a kit, which is another word for "bunch of paper." The paper is paper that is shipped with other paper. I do not think this is much of a surprise. I think a surprise would be to get paper delivered with meaty bones and delicately rotting lake weeds! Oh! That would be a wonderful surprise indeed! Now Boss is making a frowny forehead face at me. Boss says the *kind* of paper is the surprise part. This is still not very surprising to me. I will point out that the paper is flat, square, and smells slightly of coffee. And it has patterns on it. Not very surprising, although the coffee smell is pleasant. Boss says I should move on so I do not spoil the surprise. I do not understand what is surprising about paper, but I will do as Boss suggests so she will stop making that face at me.

I am now feeling a little sad that I have not shared the other sneaky although not-very-surprising pretty-paper-picture-story pages that Boss did for The ScrapRoom. But since I know how to make clever linky things, I will make it happen now. Boss says I can also say what kind of paper these pretty-paper-picture-story pages were made from because they are no longer surprises. I can not say that I think any of this makes sense or seems surprising. This is paper. It is flat, square, and has patterns on it. Not surprising. The coffee smell is pleasant but clearly the result of the coffee sample that comes with the paper. Not a surprise. Even a simple dog can figure that out. Oh. I have thought of something that might be a surprise. People are maybe more simple than I thought. I will ask the bat crazy cat to consider this and get back to me.   

May Sneak:   WRMK Anthologie
June Sneak:  Bazzill Wayfarer
July Sneak:  Simple Stories Summer Fresh

Monday, July 23, 2012

Guest Blogger: It's a Conspiracy

Hello.  My name is Bauxite.  At least, that's the name that these people call me, and I'm inclined to tolerate them.  They are so cute when they call me by that name - sometimes I even remember to respond to it.  People.  So simple.  But I do my best to take care of them.  Even with overwhelming odds to the contrary.

I am Bauxite and I am the cat that these people belong to.  I am overlooking the fact that these people have put me in a cone of shame... I could get out at any time, really, but I prefer to allow them to think that they have my best interests in mind.  I am aware that they believe that the cone keeps me from removing my stitches.  This is a farce.  I mean, I do agree that I have stitches in my leg.  Numerous stitches.  These people claim to have had a large cancerous tumor removed from me, but I know better.  The cover-up is incredible.  You grassy-knoll people out there know what I am talking about. 

The pervasive culture of disinformation and half-truths in this blog is - almost - unbelievable.  That fact that these lies and omissions are even here speaks volumes about the level of involvement Grey's "people" have in this blog and clearly highlights lack of oversight... You would think.  I have proof that they want you to believe they don't know what's going on, but in fact control every misinformed word and turn of phrase.  Or should I say, one of them does...

I have taken over this blog to tell you what is *really* going on.

Let's point out the errors and omissions first.
  1. Grey = Greywacke.  Yes.  Not short for BasicGrey, which is a company that makes paper and causes the elder female in this group to hyperventilate.  Can you believe these people?  Greywacke is the sixth animal in this household to be named after rocks and/or minerals.  Clearly part of a long-standing convoluted plot.
  2. Greywacke's people?  No, not even close.  These are my pets... save for one.  Seriously.  Let us not pretend that these silly creatures have any ability to control anyone.  Except that one.  More later.
  3. They have not really mentioned me at all.  I think it proves they expected me to perish once they harvested my kidney.  Fools!  I have TWO kidneys.  I only need one to survive!
  4. This story of cancer?  False.  The kidney harvest?  A cover up.  This is either an obscure government experiement or an alien abduction...  I am still gathering data on fact-finding missions.  But I know who is to blame either way.
And now to the meat of the story.  The tender, succulent meat that is not unlike the haunch of a yearling mouse... but I digress.

Greywacke almost figured it out... had he five times the brains and the wits of a 3-day old kitten.  There is one human in this group that is not right...not what he appears to be.  Yes.  That is right.  This creature that Grewacke refers to as "Talker" is in fact a mind-numbing, flesh-eating zombie.  He is lurking... talking... talking incessantly... talking to numb your brain... in order to take over and get his way and take over the PLANET.  Seriously, I have seen it happen.  He talks and talks and talks and the people here - my pets! - disconnect from reality.  Their eyes glaze over. They nod and agree without listening.  They even no longer cringe when presented with the phrase "monkey bun sauce."  He is evil personified.  He is dangerous.  And I am sure... he has one of my kidneys.  For what purpose?  FOR WHAT PURPOSE??!!  To eat with fava beans and a nice Chianti????  I am watching.  And waiting.  I will prevail.  And I will be wearing my tin foil hat until then...

Sunday, July 22, 2012

The Birthday is Finally Over

It could not happen fast enough, if you ask me.  No cupcakes for the dog.  No cake for the dog.  No pierogies or pizza or stromboli or anything tasty for the dog.  And even when my people bring home a doggie bag - or THREE - do you think they would share it with me?  No.  Even when the name of the bag that holds deliciousness says "this is for the dog" I still do not get any.

So I am happy that the birthday foolishness is done.  I am not a fan.

However, I am a fan of the pretty-paper-picture-story pages that Boss makes.  Even if they take forever to make or contain pictures that do not have enough color or pages that do not feature me.  Which I am not happy to say is most of them.  Another reason I am not a fan of this birthday.

The last page of the obsessive birthday book.  I am glad.

Friday, July 20, 2012

Talker is Finished

Talker smells marvelous.  I want to roll on him!
Talker is finished with baseball. And it is not because I ate the laces out of his catcher's glove. That happened a while ago, so I am not to blame for this.

Talker says... well, Talker says a lot. A LOT. Talker talks and talks and talks and talks and then talks some more and then adds in a few more words to fill in the silence while he prepares his mouth to talk more. So you will understand that sometimes Talker says things and I do not pay attention to all the words. Some words do not make sense anyway. "Buff buns" are words that do not make sense. "Monkey bun sauce" are other words that do not make sense but make me want to see if there is food on the floor that has appeared since the last time I looked. "Turkish chickens" are words that really do not make any sense and are disappointing at the same time. These words do not seem to mean anything useful as Boss does not have cans of chicken that need licking out. And even more distressing is that these words make all my people laugh when these words are said. "Cabbages" is another word that Talker says that make all my people laugh. I do not understand my people when this happens. Cabbage is not humorous. And I am thinking Talker is not either, but I am only a simple dog so maybe that is why I do not understand what these words mean. Perhaps these are the funniest words that my people have. Oh. I am not sure I am feeling better about this.

But Talker says he is finished with baseball.

Talker is finished because the season is over. I do not know why the season is over, but it is. Perhaps it is because Talker played almost perfectly awesome and he can not get much better so he should stop now while he is at his peak. Perhaps it is because they beat the other team and have no one to play with now. Perhaps it is because my people are tired of going to baseball games four nights a week and wish to spend more time with me. Oh! Now I am feeling better! That is probably exactly the reason why the baseball season is over!

Talker says he played left field and "got burned once with a hard shot over my head." Oh, I know how that feels. Sometimes my paws feel burned when we walk on the hot sidewalk and I have to get on the grass quick and sniff around so that no one knows my little tender feet are tender. I pretend to sniff very interesting smells in the grass so that other dogs do not think I am a wimp but that I am very focused on smells instead. I do not know if Talker smelled the grass a little after he got burned, but I recommend it. This fools people all the time. Talker says he made up for it by later making "an absolutely fantastic throw to home to gun down a runner and end the inning". This sounds surprisingly violent for an activity that Boss would allow to happen. Boss and Big One discuss things like this sometimes and they make disagreeing noises at each other. Boss is not raising animals, she says, and Big One disagrees because he says boys are animals. I swear this is how the discussion starts. I do not say that I understand this. Talker also says that he "drove in a run with a sharp single midway through the game to right field, and also had two walks and did a lot of base running through the game." What? Are these words that should be used all in a sentence together like that? I am sorry, perhaps I zoned out and was thinking about Turkish chickens or monkey bun sauce and did not hear all the words correctly. Now I am wondering if there is any food on the floor in the kitchen that has appeared since the last time I looked for some...

I am a very simple dog and I have decided that baseball is not simple. It is probably good that Talker is finished. Speaking of finished... maybe I can finish his catcher's glove if he will not be needing it anymore. I will go see if I can find it.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Photoshop Makes Boss Swear

Boss is her usual high maintenance self this morning.  She is home all day today and has told Player and Talker that she is not actually here.  And that they can not call her the word "mom" but that "princess" would be a good word to use instead.  And Boss got a phone call and I heard the "princess" word used again.  And boss is eating cake for breakfast and making happy squealing noises as she makes paper bits and pretty-paper-picture-story pages happen in our hang-out room.

But every once in a while she stops making happy squealing noises and starts making angry swearing noises.  I watch her carefully because I do not want to be the one she is looking at when this happens.  I think I have not eaten any ink pens and stained the carpet for at least 3 days now so this can not be why Boss is angry.  And I am pretty sure I have not accidentally chewed on her favorite most expensive ridiculously lacy bra since that one time, I promise, although the padding squeaked delightfully in my teeth and I would like to try it just one more time to be sure it was that marvelous.  And I have not tried to taste the cat AT ALL today.  I think.  So I am not sure why Boss is angry but I have been watching her carefully and it appears to have something to do with the word Photoshop.  Whatever that Photoshop word means, it had better let Boss do whatever she wants because today is supposed to be a happy day.  And if Boss is happy, I might get to have a piece of cake.  Or a little bit of a piece of a cake.  I am hopeful and watching Boss to catch her in a weak moment when puppy-dog eyes will be most effective.

Oh!  See that!  Boss said "booyah!" and did a fist pump and is making happy squealing noises again!  Now she is looking at me and using words I do not understand about "control you" and "decreasing saturation" and she is happy and making a big smile at me and I hope she does not notice I have found a delightfully sweaty and wonderfully disgusting ball cap that I only chewed on just a little bit as I am savoring the flavor and maybe should hide until later.  In fact, I think I better lay here sort of on top of this ball cap and wait for another moment for cake-begging.  Because today is a happy day and I do not want to be in trouble.

Now that Boss and the Photoshop word are friends again, Boss is making pictures to go into the obsessive birthday book.  The obsessive birthday book is very much like a pile of messy pretty-paper-picture-story pages now.  But there is something wrong with the pictures.  They do not have much color and look like mushy newspaper.  Oh.  See that?  Boss is irritated and angry again and is now looking at me.  What?  The pictures in the obsessive birthday book do not have enough color, no they do not.  Maybe Boss should fix them with the Photoshop word.

The best page of the obsessive birthday book so far - look, there I am with my toys!

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Boss Is Having A Birthday

I know this because Boss tends to announce things.  A lot.  In a repetitive fashion.  Over and over and over and over again.  More than one time.  More times than the number of ants I have eaten out on the patio.  More times than I can remember anything being repeated since I have lived here.  Now, I know that is not very long, but Boss has become annoying, boring, and annoyingly boring with the repetitive repetition surrounding this birthday thing.

Apparently birthdays involve cupcakes.  I know because Boss made cupcakes and announced in an annoyingly boring repetitive fashion that it is going to be her birthday, so she made cupcakes in preparation for this birthday thing.

The cupcake that Boss took almost as many pictures of as announcements made about this birthday.
The cupcakes are already gone and I did not even get to eat one, not even a little bit of one.  I tried to just taste one, just a little bit of one, but Player noticed when I crawled into his lap and tried to taste his cupcake.  I do not think the cupcakes are worth all the yelling and pointing.  Which would have been unnecessary if I would have gotten a cupcake of my own.  But all I get to eat are ants out on the patio.

Also in preparation for this birthday thing is a book Boss made.  It is suspiciously like a pretty-paper-picture-story page, but is currently missing pictures and stories.  I think Boss is taking shortcuts so she can get everything done in one day, especially after the last time I shared the pretty-paper-picture-story page.  But I will not talk about that so Boss does not get irritated with me again.  Instead, I will show the birthday book thing.  Apparently Boss will spend seven, yes seven days obsessing about this birthday thing and this book thing will be part of the obsession and the annoyingly boring repetitive announcements.

But there may be more cupcakes coming.  So that is good.  Right now I think that is the only good thing about Boss having a birthday.  Even if I am just a simple dog who has not had any cupcakes, not even just a little bit of one.  Yet.
The obsessive birthday book thing.

Friday, July 13, 2012

I Stink!

Oh yes I do!  Or I would have if Big One would not have hosed me down.  Now I only have a little bit of an odor says Boss.  I am a little sad about all that, but oh!  I can still smell it on my fur!  Oh my gosh heaven in my fur I can barely contain myself heaven heaven smell in myfurohmygoshthesmellthesmellthesmell -


Have you ever pranced lightly through mud filled with dead snails and fish guts and delicately rotting reeds?  Have you ever pooped somewhere and forgot where because the smell of heaven completely overwhelmed you and you pranced and jumped and hopped and went wild and maybe accidentally sort of stomped in your own poop and the smell of it all overwhelmed you?  And you stomped and smelled and got overwhelmed and continued to be overwhelmed and then got overwhelmed some more?  Have you ever been wading in beautifully thick, green, nose-electrifying lake water?  Have you?  HAVE YOU?

I have.  And I stink.  And it is so completely awesome.  Even if Big One hosed me down.  And even if I have to spend the rest of the night with my nose jammed into my fur smelling what remains of heaven.  Oh my gosh heaven. 

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Already Not Going Very Well

Hoo boy.

Can you believe it?  Just my second post and already Boss is having issues with me.  I thought I would share one of her pretty-paper-picture-story pages that took the last three days to do and all I got was crabbiness.  Boss waved her arms around and counted for me on her fingers.  I know how to count.  All the emphatic talking was not necessary.  Turns out there are three problems with my great idea, according to Boss.

  1. Boss has pictures of people who are not our people on the pretty-paper-picture-story pages that took the last three days to do.  Boss thinks it is rude to show pictures of people who are not our people on the blog.  I do not understand this.  People look very much the same; who would know?  Now... if I was sharing scratch-and-sniffs of people not our people on the blog, that would be different.  And it could possibly be rude if they smelled wrong, but even smells not our smells on the blog would be a fantastic thing, I think.  I will Google that later to see how that can be done. 
  2. Boss is irritated that I keep mentioning that the pretty-paper-picture-story pages took the last three days to do.  I am sorry, Boss, but it did.  Boss is gone most of the day doing who knows what and then goes to watch Player at the baseball games and also takes me for a walk two times a day (see, I can count!).  I also do not understand this.  I mean, I understand taking me for walks.  This is very important and is also very interestingly related to smells again.  I need to go for walks so I can smell what is going on while I am not out on a walk.  But I think Boss needs to manage her time more wisely and not just disappear for most of the day if she wants me to not mention that it took three days to make the pretty-paper-picture-story pages.
  3. Boss wishes I would just call the pretty-paper-picture-story pages "scrapbook pages" or "layouts."  Whatever.  That suggestion smells like last winter's squirrel farts in a high wind.  That is a dog analogy meant for you to understand that "layout" does not describe anything, just like last winter's squirrel farts in a high wind do not smell like anything and leaves you wondering if there are any squirrels here at all.  
At this point, you should have figured out that Boss got her name for a reason.  She is what my people call "a control freak" but usually not when Boss is around.  When Boss is around, my people call her "princess" instead but I do not understand why as she is not a teacup chihuahua or a fancy poodle.  But I am smarter than Boss.  Because you will see that I got my way. 

After all the emphatic talking and unnecessary counting, I gave Boss puppy-dog eyes.  And put my ears down.  And whined, just a little.  Nothing over the top.  I am a simple, but subtle, dog.  Boss caved.  But I can not blame her because I am awesome at being adorable.  See my profile picture if you do not believe me.

  1. Boss will let me share parts of her pretty-paper-picture-story pages when she shows people who are not our people.  Even if it took three days to make.
  2. I do not lie.  If Boss does not like me to mention it took three whole long days to make the pretty-paper-picture-story pages, then Boss needs to manage her time better.  Three days!  Three days!  Threeeeeeee daaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyys!
  3. I am a dog.  I call them how I see them.  Or smell them.  My blog, my words.  Oh, and it did not take me three days to figure that out.    
So now I will show you parts of the pretty-paper-picture-story pages that took three days to make.  She made it for a "scraps" challenge over at the message board behind the scenes at The ScrapRoom.  Boss invites you to check that out... and totally made me type that last part.  I do not understand what that means.  Except that Boss is, well, the boss.


Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Because Everyone Has a Blog


My name is Grey, and I am a dog.

Baloney, you say?  Yeah, baloney!  I like baloney.  And pepperoni and chicken - chicken in a can! - and Greenies and fish sandwiches and -

Sorry.  See, I am a dog, and I am a very simple dog.  Which is why I am writing a blog.  My people are not very simple.  In fact, they are too busy and complicated to keep up with a blog, so I am doing it for them.  This is just one of the services I offer, being a very simple dog, with complicated people. 

In fact, as I write this, my people are at a baseball game.  Talker and Player left on their bikes, and then Big One followed in his car.  I like going for car rides.  I stick my nose just slightly out the window because I do not like it when the wind gets in my eyes.  I want to see what I am smelling and I cannot if I am blinking and tearing up like crazy.  Plus it is not cool to be crying if another dog sees me.  I have been to lots of places in the car and sometimes I even get to go for a ride in the van!  Oh.  The van.  Now I remember.  That is what Boss drove to the game a little later, but I think she would rather work on her pretty-paper-picture-story pages.  At least, I think that is what the little shriek meant when the timer went off. 

So that is pretty much it.  I will keep track of what is going on with my people and record their stuff here for you.  Simple, right?

Right.  Because I am a very simple dog with complicated people.