Monday, September 16, 2013

Boss Gets Serious, But Only For A Moment

So every once in a while, Boss decides that she finally has enough stuffses.  And she needs to do something with it to make it all go away.  And does just that.  And then a little while later she decides to buy more stuffses.  And then it starts all over again.  Boss thinks this is normal.  I think this is normal for Boss.  I will not be commenting on the whole "define normal" words.  I think commenting is a very good way to get into a lot of trouble. And I am an expert on trouble!  After I get into trouble, I am very much carefulness to not be naughtiness again.  No more eating belts or chewing backpack straps off.  No.  Not at all.  So I am adorableness.  But then it gets the "boring" word around here and then the "distracted" word happens and before you know it... I have been rooting around in the wool of Boss looking for that sheep. And I may have been attempting to liberate these sheep by chewing off the strap of the yarn carrying thing.  But my trouble/good/trouble cycle is nothing at all like the give it away/buy it/give it away cycle of Boss.  And to distract you from arguing about it, I will be illustrating the favorite ways of Boss to unload the stuffses.

So these are the old yarns that Boss did not love anymore.  Most of them she got a gabillion years ago.  Yes, this would be before I started living here.  I think Boss used to love this yarn, but then she met me, and then finally understood what love was.  Or something like that.  Boss says it is all the fault of the mom-of-Boss for taking her to a yarn shop with wool, and alpaca, and silk, and silpaca.  Which is silk and alpaca mixed together.  But it does not really matter, except that Boss does not love this yarn.  So she gave it to her church.  She says the quilt ladies could use it for ties, and also the preschoolers could cut it all up and put glue on it and take it home and put on their refrigerators.  Boss smiles about this.  I do not understand.  Putting glue on the yarn does not make it much more tastiness.  Oh, and Boss says that if you do not have a church, or your church does not have the yarn kinds of things, you can just take the yarn to a daycare or preschool somewhere else.  Because kids + glue + yarn = universal fun stuffses apparently.
So then Boss got some fancy schmancy yarn but had a hard time using it.  This is very pretty yarn, says Boss, but it is fat and stripey.  Which is not the favorite of Boss after all.  Hey, wait.  I am stripey.  I better not eat that extra treat just in case...
So Boss took this stripey fat fancy schmancy yarn and made a cowl with it.  A cowl is something to do with car engines.  Or airplanes.  Or something like that.  As you can see, Boss is not so good at making engine parts with yarn.  But she tried very very hard.
And here is Boss wearing the engine part.  If you wanted to try to make a fancy engine cover that you could maybe wear to a party or whatever, you could find the pattern here.  But here is the special thing about this engine yarn thing:  it is a pattern that you can use, but you have to make one for the Knitting 4 Peace peoples.  Boss is a big fan of the Knitting 4 Peace peoples (even though Boss only knows the "crochet" word).  So that is another thing you can do with yarn if you do not want to eat it or give it the toddlers to put glue on it.  You can make things for other people to wear.  Just do not tell them it is actually for airplanes.
It is not just the yarn that Boss has gotten all uppity about.  It is also about tasty ribbons and some papers, too.  Boss used to love this ribbon, but it was before I got here.  Again, I propose that Boss had a cold and empty world until I got here, so it was hard for her to understand what the good stuffses really was until I showed her grasshoppers, hamburger wrappers, and dead fish.  But to get back to the tasty ribbon.  Guess what?  Toddlers like sticking glue on EVERYTHING.  YES.  EVERYTHING.  So Boss took this ribbon to the church place and the little glue monsters are very much happiness.
But what if you have papers and ribbons and other stuffses that you still like?  Well, then, silly... you use them.  (I am just a simple dog, but really... did you need me to explain this part to you?)  What?  You can't use that many cards and things?  Boss says yes you can.  No, I can not, you say.  Boss says yes, yes you can.  No, you say.  Boss says yes.  You say no.  Boss says ---  Boss says to stop this nonsense, and she is looking at me.  What?  I am just sitting here typing and I am getting in the trouble.  This is not very fair.  Boss says there are a few things you can do with the cards you make.  This box is full of cards.  (That is not one of the things you can do.)  The first thing you can do is get a list of people from your church that can not get out of their house to go to church.  I do not understand if they lost their door or what, but Boss says some people are the "shut in" words and would love some mail.
But what if you have no "shut in" words?  What if you think writing cards is really hardness work because your hand is broken right off or because you can not find any pens because your boybarian horde has taken them all or because your dog has chewed them up and made an ink spot on the carpet?  (Oh, wait, that is unfairness!  I only did that... uh, well... I guess I did that a few times.  Okay, a lot of times.  A LOT.)  Boss says the other thing you can do is to put all of those cards in a box and send them to Operation Write Home for the hero peoples to use when they are somewhere-not-here but their peoples are home all loneliness without them.  Boss says if you like this idea, go read the rules at Operation Write Home because glitter is very dangerousness.  For reals.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Boss Makes the Sketch Things

So friend-the-deadly told Boss to make sketches or be killed.  So Boss made sketches.  But Boss, being the Boss that she is, did the sketch in a backwards way.  See, Boss makes pretty-paper-picture-story pages that she likes and is pleasingness to the eyeball of Boss (not to be confused with friend-the-eyeball).  And then Boss copies them.  And copies them.  And copies them some more.  So Boss is doing the sketch thing, but Boss is doing it with pretty-paper-picture-story pages that have already been done and in the book of Boss.  Boss says it is much easierness this way and is a faster way to stay alive than if she had to make the sketch things for friend-the-deadly from the beginning.
Sketch 1:  Yes, this is what Boss called this.  Apparently all of her imagination stuffses are used up right at this moment.
Sketch 1 + 8x10" photo:  So this is apparently the fastest way to get this sketch thing done.  Just get a big big picture!  Boss cautions you to be careful about where you do the cutting of the picture thing.  She once cut the head of Player in half in a poorly-planned cut.  Boss did not show him that pretty-paper-picture-story page.  She is the "chicken" word, I think.
Sketch 1 + 8x10" collage photo:  This is pretty close to the fastest way to get this sketch thing done, but it will take you lots of extra time and some swear words to get the collage picture thing all lined up and good to cut.  I think Boss said this during the collage building time:  "No.  No.  No.  No.  Fergoodness sake, NO.  No.  No.  Why the [expletive deleted] is this so [expletive deleted] hard?!?"  Actually, Expletive Deleted is a very nice font and Boss does like it.  Probably because Boss is a big fan of expletives. 
Sketch 1 + lots of pictures:  Not a fan of cutting the heads of your peoples in half or using expletives?  Then Boss offers this as an option.  You will notice that the pictures do not all fit on the paper very neatly.  This is what happens when Boss gets the "playful" word.  She does not stay inside the lines and says the "booyah!" word.  For no reason that I can tell.  I think Boss just likes talking to her pretty-paper-picture-story pages.  Also, because Boss could not stay inside the lines, she had to be all creativeness with where the title went.  And that is okay.  Says Boss.  Of course.
Sketch 1 card:  So Boss says any sketch can be made into cards.  But then makes a sketch thing just for a card.  So I do not know if Boss is really right or is just using the "illustrating my point" words.  But Boss is certainly being unpredictableness with this one because she made the sketch thing first and then the card.  Maybe she is using the "covering my bases" words to protect her from the wrath of friend-the-deadly.
Sketch 1 card example:  Uh.  I really hope Boss made this for someone else and does not just mail it to herself.  She is kind of excitedness about this sketch idea after all and has said these words a lot today.  A LOT.

Monday, September 9, 2013

Boss is Focused, or July Teeny Pretty-Paper-Picture-Story Pages

So now that Boss has called a time-out on being responsible, she has a lot of extra time.  Which she is spending doing cooking stuff, yarn things, and of course the teeny pretty-paper-picture-story pages.  Boss has even made a nerdy chart of tracking the teeny pretty-paper-picture-story pages because she wants to be the "caught up" words, or failing that, the "not so far behind" words.  So you can enjoy the wonderful nerdiness of Boss (and also feel great sorriness for me) I will be sharing the graph with you:
So the green line is how many not-done teeny pretty-paper-picture-story pages Boss has pictures in pockets for.  And the orange bar thing is how many teeny pretty-paper-picture-story pages Boss got done.  And the yellow bar thing is how many teeny pretty-paper-picture-story page place-holder things were created with the pictures Boss ordered and stuck in pockets.  Boss is thinking that if she makes one teeny pretty-paper-picture-story page each day she is home, that eventually she will get to the Christmas present time and not have too many teeny pretty-paper-picture-story pages to do.  But this assumes that Talker and Player do not go to see Mr. Larry and the mom-of-Boss by themselves and bring back lots of pictures.  For Boss to make teeny pretty-paper-picture-story pages out of.  So now you know that Boss is really really nerdy.  It is not just my creative storytellingness.  It is truth.  And it is scary, is it not?

July 2013 Teeny Pretty-Paper-Picture-Story Pages
This is actually a 5"x7" pocket thing and these are the front and back of it and it fits inside the book of Boss just fine as a very very very teeny pretty-paper-picture-story page.
This is actually a 6"x4" pocket thing and these are the front and back of it and it fits inside the book of Boss just fine as a very very very VERY teeny pretty-paper-picture-story page.  Boss wanted to use the word page from Cocoa Daisy very very muchness so made a very very very VERY teeny pretty-paper-picture-story page just for that.
Boss almost never makes a double teeny pretty-paper-picture-story page but this time she did.  She is unpredictableness this way.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Boss Spends Ridiculous Amounts of Time Painting Things That Were Perfectly Fine Already

Actually, to be the "honesty" word here, Big One did all the painting.  Apparently Boss has Big One convinced that she is unable to use spray paint and so needs a man people.  I do not understand how she managed to convince Big One that spray paint is a very difficultness thing to do, but she did it.  And I saw the fist pump that Boss did after she said the "are you sure" words and the "wow, you are fantastic" words and the "maybe I will make some brownies" words.  Big One did not see the fist pump but he saw the tight shirt of Boss and heard the "brownie" word and of course took the wood things out to the shop and used the spray paint.  I am incredulousness at all of this but it appears that all of my peoples are happy so I am not going to be all judgement upon them.

If you are wondering what perfectly fine thing Boss needed painting, you might remember that Boss is a big fan of Stamp-n-Storage and has some of their wood organizer things for the scrappy stuffses that Boss has entirely too much of.  Boss has a decorative tape holder and a Distress ink holder that she made me blather on and on and ON about before (you can read that nonsense here).  Boss also has three half-height shelves (which maybe would make one-and-a-half full-height shelves but Boss says it does not work that way and will not be impressed at my mathiness) and two paper holders.  I know, right?  Ridiculousness.  And what is more ridiculousness is that Boss knew she wanted to paint them but did not do this right away.  So then she had to put everything in a big messy pile and do the painting thing in the wrong order.  Perhaps it was because she knew that there was no brownie mix in the house?  I will be betting that this is what the issue was.  This actually makes sense.

This is the floor of the shop of Big One.  He actually makes lots of things different colors with spray paint in this spot.  It is edgy and urban says Boss.  I say it is sloppy and stupid, but I am just a dog.  Oh, and Boss wishes to point out that the Distress ink holder from Stamp-n-Storage has dividers that come out easy if you want to trick your man peoples to paint them for you.  Just saying.
After the half-height shelves were painted, Boss put glue and fabric and more glue on top of them!  Yes, that is right.  If Big One sees this, he will be sadness that all the effort he put into painting these things was covered by girly fabric things.  What?  Oh.  He does not care, he says.  He is eating brownies and is great happiness.
The half-height shelves and the decorative tape holder thing from Stamp-n-Storage.  Do not be fooled by the words "decorative tape holder".  It is a washi tape holder.  Not impressed, are you?  No, I am not either.  Washi is ridiculousness and I will not be forgetting all the trouble I got into when I tasted only a small roll of washi.  It was not that good.  I do not understand why Boss was so angriness at me.  It is not like she was going to miss that one stupid roll or eat it herself.
Now Boss has trimmed off the extra fabric and put the shelves of half-height onto her table.  And has used an artistic angle in the photo.  I think it must be edgy and urban.  Or not.
Here is the good stuff of Boss all put back onto her shelf things.  Yes, Boss went shopping for coordinating boxes and baskets and other things that make my head hurt.  I CAN NOT BELIEVE I HAVE TO WRITE THIS NONSENSE.  SOMEONE CALL THE SPCA!!!!! 
Okay, this is the shelf that sits right in front of Boss.  I am all calmed down now.  I got pepperoni!  Yes, I did!  I am a good dog!  Yes, I am!  So I will be all happiness about telling you about the note paper, the favorite adhesive of Boss, a dancing flower from friend-the-deadly, paper clips, the favorite punch of Boss, and three boxes of various and numerous and multiplicitous journaling spots... and tags... and other things to write on.  Boss uses these things the mostest, so they are the closest.  This is something called "lean manufacturing" and Boss learned these somewhere-not-here, and it means making scrapbooking easier or some such nonsense.
This is the next shelf thing over.  Boss can still reach this stuffses, and uses these things often, but not on every pretty-paper-picture-page.  They are candy from friend-the-deadly (Boss says she appears to be quite nice but is actually quite scariness and dangerous), a book that friend-the-gazelle taught Boss to make, the tasty lip gloss, stapler, tape, and timer thing on the top.  On the next level down is glue dots, pop dots, and the make-anything-you-want-into-a-sticker-but-the-head-of-the-bat-crazy-cat-will-not-fit-no-matter-how-hard-you-try thing, and pens.  Pens which I am not allowed to touch at all.  No matter how tasty they are.  Then on the bottom of all this nonsense is small bang-the-hammer-loud things, a foamie thing, and small boxes of whatever.  I am tired of this caption.
A close up.  Oh, I forgot the pink rock.  Not tasty.
So this is the decorative tape holder thing that really is just a shrine for washi from Stamp-n-Storage.  If they only knew how craziness Boss was about this, they would not have made this and Boss would stop being so giddy all the time.  I have very sensitive ears and the squealing is excessive and over the top and too much and enough already.
Boss makes an urban and edgy camera shot again.
And another urban and edgy camera shot.  Of washi.  Come ON, peoples.  I mean, really???  Oh wait.  Boss says to see two things.  Boss says to see the pretty fabric.  Boss also says to see how nicely the washi sticks to the front of the shelf.  The paint is apparently marvelousness for this.  I am rolling my eyes.  I really, really am.

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Boss Calls A Time Out

Yes, that is right.  Boss has called a time out.  And she says she calls a time out on herself and that she has to go off and sit and think and play with no plan or deadline. 

Suddenly this sounds rather much like Boss making fun stuffses happen instead of the "punishment" word that is normally a time out.  I know what a time out is supposed to be.  Boss tries to threaten the time out at Talker and Player but they are much too oldness for this and then the threat generally turns into giggling and general goofishness.  Which is actually clever on the part of Boss because Talker and Player are still in the easily distracted phase and lose track of whatever it was that was making them need a time out to begin with.  Boss says that she is lucky that the easily distracted phase lasts for about 80 more years because they are the man kind of peoples.  I think this may be a rude comment, but I am not exactly sure.  Because I think it might actually be true words.

But back to Boss.  Boss is taking a time out from doing pretty-paper-picture-story pages for other peoples.  She was done with Evalicious goodies in June which was exactly according to the rules, and now she is done with The ScrapRoom.  The ScrapRoom was hard to say good-bye to but Boss looked at the calendar thing and realized there was no way she could do the pretty-paper-picture-story pages for The ScrapRoom for most of the rest of the year and then had to go away more often then ever before... and well.  You know.  Peoples are busyness.  Which I think is foolish.  More time should be spent contemplating the joys of hamburger wrappers and the taste of grasshoppers, but then there is no explaining the peoples. 

So these are the last pretty-paper-picture-story pages Boss will make for The ScrapRoom.  But do not be sad.  Boss will still get some papers in a kit from The ScrapRoom because Boss just loves the paper.  She will use it whenever she wants and might just let loose and mix things up a bit.  (We all know this is crazy talk, but whatever.  If Boss wants to be silly, then let Boss be silly.)  Boss will take more classes and focus on the fun stuffses instead of the timeline things.  Boss may even contemplate the flavor of grasshoppers.  Or not.  I think not.  She just gave me a look that makes me think that probably the grasshopper thing is not going to happen after all.

Echo Park Paper Here & Now:  Now, Boss did leave one word of the title off.  She left off the "damn" word.  And it really is part of the title, because Boss had a very long conversation with Player and Talker about the title of this page when it happened in her head and then they talked about what perfect days really are and how they are important.  But Boss left off the "damn" word for politeness for The ScrapRoom.  But she put it on for her own book.  Talker agrees that this is the right thing to do.  He is suddenly somehow an expert on pretty-paper-picture-story pages?
Echo Park Paper Here & Now:  So you have seen this 12x12 page before on the other blog post.  It was a sneaky sneak peek from myself to you.  Are you loving it?  I think so.  But now it is small.  And in the book of Boss.  Which makes Boss happy.
Echo Park Paper Here & Now:  So Boss loves the scary cutter thing.  A lot.  A LOT.  She messed with it and messed with it and came up with a card that looks like a file folder but is the size to fit in a regular envelope.  Boss says if you want this cut file for your Silhouette thingie, you can leave me a comment and I will take care of emailing it to you right away.  Wait.  I will?  I am suddenly somehow an email expert?
Jillibean Soup Happy Camper:  Oh, my peoples are happy campers all right, so this paper and the extra thingies that come with it in the kit are perfectness.  Boss made a teeny pretty-paper-picture-story page with this paper because that is how Boss rolls with the teeny pretty-paper-picture-story pages this year.
Jillibean Soup Happy Camper:  But do not be worriness about the camping paper if you do not like to be a happy camper in real life stuff.  Because the paper is apparently marvelous for making cards with.  This is what Boss said, and here are the cards to be proving it, so I am guessing she is right.  These are supposed to fit in a business size envelope, but I am also guessing that Boss will be paying the "extra postage" words because the ribbon is so fluffly.  I can help with that, actually.  I do happen to be an expert on eating ribbons.
September Project Life Kit:  Boss and the vegetables and flowers.  Again.  And this flower is merely a weed.  And a bad weed, too.  Boss is a little over-exuberant about learning new things.  This is my opinion.  Boss does not share this opinion.  She says to move on already.
September Project Life Kit:  Another teeny pretty-paper-picture-story page, but this one has good stuff on it!  It has tasty geeses, tasty yarn things, and Player!  He is sometimes tasty but only after he has been eating in a messy way.  Which is often.  If he does not learn to get the food into his mouth properly, Boss will put him on a time out.  *wagging tail*