Friday, June 28, 2013

Playing Catch Up Is Not A Fun Game

So one of the things I am supposed to do around here besides killing and eating intruders is to share the pretty-paper-picture-story pages of Boss when she gets them done.  But if I am sleeping or chewing on my favorite bone, I am not so good at remembering the killing, eating, or sharing thing very well.  I have tried giving Boss the puppy dog eyes and whining a little (but only a little, and only in a cute little delicate way and not annoying at all) when she looks at me in all exasperatedness when my blog posts are devoted to squirrels and hamburger wrappers instead of her very nice pretty-paper-picture-story pages but that only works for so long and then I have to focus on doing whatever it was I promised in the first place.

I think I promised to eat lots of cupcakes.  Yes, that seems reasonable. 
October 2000:  This picture is so old that it was almost taken in the 1900s.  They almost did not have cameras back then.  They certainly did not have any fashion sense, that is for sure.   And now Boss is giving me the squinty eyeball and frowny forehead look.  She says she was hot.  I guess I would be hot too if I had to wear a plastic-y looking jacket.  Except I am sure plastic was not invented back then.  Oh, and Boss would like me to tell you where the papers came from.  This is from The ScrapRoom.
June 2009:  Again with Boss and more hotness.  Because this is Florida in the summer!!!  That is crazy hotness.  Boss is a big fan of this kit from The ScrapRoom.  It is Maggie Holmes which is just the style of Boss.  Which is a nice way of saying too many patterns mixed together, but you did not hear that from me.
October 2009:  Boss insists that you can take any impossible photo to match colors to and there will be BasicGrey paper that is perfectness.  And awesomeness.  And BasicGreyness!  So you will not be surprised that Boss got this paper from BasicGrey in a Page of the Month Kit.  She is a fan.  A really big fan.  They are named after me, I think.
November 2009:  Okay, so Boss is really excited about sequins.  She got this kit from Cocoa Daisy and it came with sequins.  Which she did not like at first.  But it was because she was very much not understanding how to use them without using the swearing words.  But then Boss did the google thing and found out that glossy accents is a good glue.  Which made her say the "duh" word.  Oh, about the Cocoa Daisy kit?  Boss can not help it.  She loves paper.  All paper.  And she loves kits.  She can not help it.  She tried to feel bad about loving more than one paper kit company but she can not do that either.  She says she is good at loving more than one thing at one time because she has me and the boybarians.  And the cats I suppose.
July 2010:  So this is Boss fishing and being amazing at it.  I know, right?  She is almost a better boybarian than the boybarian horde themselves.  But do not tell them I said so.  Oh, and this paper came from The ScrapRoom.  It is October Afternoon and Boss adores it also. 
August 2010:  Did you know we have very many most wonderful and awesomeness God-kids?  Well, it is true.  This is the Alex one.  Boss used a kit from the Paper Bakery and their sketch thing.  Yes, that is right.  Boss is now getting lots and lots of paper and refuses to be ashamed by that nonsense.  She says it is very much creative sparkness and opens her eyes to new ways of doing things.  I think she is just using the excuse words but whatever.
August 2010:  More of the most excellent ScrapRoom paper and the most excellent camping stuff that Boss and Big One and Talker and Player enjoy.  I have gone camping two times already and agree that it is pretty much better than anything.  Well.  It is not quite better than a squirrel carrying a hamburger wrapper right in front of me with my lead being not securely fastened.  The "camping" words are almost that awesome.  Almost.
February 2013:  LOOK!!!!  IT IS ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  THIS IS AWESOMENESS!!!!!!  Oh, and it is Cocoa Daisy paper.  And no sequins thank goodness.
April 2013:  It is a frame thingy.  With a picture of Boss and Big One being adorableness.  I just want to push them into the ocean and then pee on their heads.  Because I did not get to go to the "belize" place and it looks like it was funtastic.  Boss agrees that it was awesomeness.  Like this Pink Paislee paper from The ScrapRoom.  She is pretending to not notice the statement about peeing on their heads.  She is tired from being the "mom" word today so I am getting away with extra snotiness.  Yes, my tail is wagging.  A lot.  A LOT.
May 2013:  These are the friends-of-Boss and she says she loves them very muchness.  You can not see friend-the-tallandstately in this picture but she was everywhere that weekend.  In the refrigerator too, apparently.  I am confused by this but Boss promises a totally amazingness and hilarious pretty-paper-picture-story page that shows this.  And this paper is from the Paper Bakery, which Boss met when she was with her friends.  And bought.  The paper, not the friends.  They are apparently priceless.  ???
May 2013:  Okay, I am not longer a big fan of mom-of-Boss.  I did not know she was documenting this and ratting me out to Boss.  And to make it worse, Boss used all those stupid sequins from Cocoa Daisy again.  This is probably very bad for me.  Boss will not share her popcorn with me if I am hogging her chair and her blanket and her prayer shawl.  I think I need to use the puppy dog eyes again.  Oh, and maybe the "prayer" words would help. 

Monday, June 24, 2013

Boss Finally Finishes a Real Nice Yarn Thing... Finally

So you should have heard Boss just go crazy and get all squealy and girly when she finally finished a yarn thing.  And this is not just any yarn thing, this is a yarn thing that is nice.  I mean, really nice.  And that is really all I can say about it, not being much of an expert of the yarn things except that I just know there is a sheep around here somewhere and no matter how often I pull the yarn balls apart I just can not find the sheep.  But it is around here somewhere.  And I will keep looking.  Like you should be looking at these pictures of the really nice yarn thing!
This is the really nice yarn thing in the really nice yarn bowl that Big One sort of made for Boss.  I think I already explained the really nice yarn bowl thing once already, so you will have to just use your very awesomenest memory thing.  This was back when it was winter here and cold and everyone but me was happy.  Dude, I have like almost no hair!  And Boss has big cozy sweaters!  Made of sheep!
Boss takes the really nice yarn bowl everywhere.  EVERYWHERE.  This picture looks like she let Player drive the car but it is not true.  He is only 12, which is a very fine age but not for driving apparently.  Boss says Player is going to be "interesting" to see drive as he gets distracted by shiny squirrels and stuff whilst mowing.  (Did you notice that?  I have developed a very delightful british accent!  I said "whilst"!)  Oh, and if you squint really hard, you can see Talker playing baseball in the rain.  Which is why Boss and Player are in the car.  Making a really nice yarn thing.
This is the really nice yarn thing that is somehow a block.  ???  I know.  Apparently Boss was worried and nervous about making the really nice yarn thing blocked and stuff.  But it turns out that it just means getting the really nice yarn thing wet and then letting it dry.  Which seems like a bloody well lot of effort that is unnecessary.  (Hee hee!  I said "bloody" like an english bulldog would!)
The really nice yarn thing.  Again.  Crikey!  (Oh, what?  That is an australian word?  Huh, look at me, I am a bilingual dog!)
Boss.  Hotness.  No, really, literally.  It was like 85 degrees that day.  And that is in fahrenheit.  So I can speak american, too!  Boss would like to point out that she can wear the very nice yarn thing like a scarf, or a cowl, or a very nice yarn thing.  Which seems intuitive to me, but maybe not everyone is as brilliant and trilingual like me. 
P.S.  Boss says you can read more about this very nice yarn thing over at the project page of Boss over at  If you like very nice yarn things, you will very much like the very nice ravelry.  Blimey!  *snicker*

Monday, June 17, 2013

I Am A Lazy Dog

Or perhaps a busy dog.  But either way, I have gotten the "complacent" word with my blog posts.  But I am still working on my vocabularyisms because knowing the goodest words and the bestest grammar will get you very farther in this world!

I think I just made the eyes of Boss cross.  Oh, that makes my tail wag.  A lot.  A LOT!  And so do all the things I have been doing.  Or not doing.  Actually, it is all the things that I have been doing that is making do all the nothing afterwards.  It is very hard to go camping and hiking and worrying about where all my people go every night after dinner without also having to do a lot of napping.  And I do mean a lot of napping.  A LOT.

So Boss will be making lots of pretty-paper-picture-story pages when she finally stays home longer than to eat and sleep.  Yes, this house is turning into a smelly messy place and I am very proud of Boss for making such a wonderful place for us all to hang out.  It is wonderfully delightfully smelly and disgusting here.  What?  Oh!  Boss says that we should keep this awesomeness to ourselves and to be sure to mention that you are not invited over here at all.  AT ALL.  She says that once baseball season ends life will return to normal.  But until then, you better have lots of cookies to even make it through the door.  Or, what?  No.  Boss says yarn will work as a bribe too but I find that disturbing to eat.  It gets stuck in my teeth.  Not attractive.

Oh!  But that reminds me!  What *is* attractive are the pretty-paper-picture-story pages and teeny pretty-paper-picture-story pages and cards Boss made last month for The ScrapRoom that I forgot to show you two weeks ago.  This is actually spectacularous timing on my part because it makes it look like Boss is very actively making great stuff right now.  Besides the great smelly mess that is the house right now.

Pebbles Lakeside:  FOR REALS????  Yes, that is correct.  Boss made a pretty-paper-picture-story page featuring the back of our most excellent God-daughter and this new cat.  I am absolutely disgusted.  About the cat.  I am very fond of our most excellent God-daughter.  She feeds me popcorn and has forgiven me for peeing on her head.  I know, right?  I had no idea that she would be giving me popcorns later.  I am somewhat embarrassed by the whole peeing thing. 
Pebbles Lakeside:  Again a pretty-paper-picture-story page featuring the back of our most excellent God-daughter.  Fortunately, this new cat is NOT in the pictures.  Although there is a fish.  And I am sure Boss did not bring it home to be appropriately rolled on. 
Pebbles Lakeside:  Cards and clever envelopes.  Um, I have some issues with describing the envelopes as clever... it is only Boss sticking postcard print paper on top of envelopes that she already had.  I do not call this clever.  I call it somewhat lame.
WRMK For The Record and The ScrapRoom June Sketch:  Awwwww, look!  It is my most adorable Player!  And half of Talker!  Oh dear.  I wonder where the rest of him went?  Um.  I am concerned that if the bat crazy cat sees this pretty-paper-picture-story page, she will begin with the crazy theories about body snatching and organ harvesting and alien pod people and such.  It has been relatively quiet around here.  Which makes me think that we are about due for some bizarre conspiracy theory and this pretty-paper-picture-story page just might set the bat crazy off.
WRMK For The Record:  Boss made these pretty-paper-picture-story pages and learned a lot.  A LOT.  She even explains all of her learning things in this blog post here.  Boss even wrote that blog post herself!  Yes, she is getting the "older and wiser" words.  And Boss says this is her favorite pretty-paper-picture-story pages this month.  Which is ironical as it uses yellow (which she is not a fan of) and is 12x12 (which she is also not a fan of) and has pixlr-o-matic photos (which I am not a fan of).
WRMK For The Record:  So this card embarrasses Boss.  Mr. Larry had a birthday and a Day of Fathers and this card is still here.  Boss is mortified.  And she will mail it.  Soon.  Whenever she comes home...
June Project Life Kit from The ScrapRoom:  Really?  This new cat makes another appearance with the bat crazy cat.  I am not impressed.  Where am I?
June Project Life Kit from The ScrapRoom:  Well.  This is slightly better.  There are tasty shoe-shaped leather treats and Player.  And stupid robin birds.  I know they are stupid.  I watch them.  And then I fall asleep because I can not bear to watch how not smart they are.
June Project Life Kit from The ScrapRoom:  More no pictures of me.  Moving on.
June Project Life Kit from The ScrapRoom:  Really?  Is this the best Boss can do?  I am a very very very important member of this family!  I demand justice!!!!  And equal picture time.  At least equal to the bat crazy cat.  I mean, really?

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Mr. Larry Is the Birthday Word

Well, I was just looking at the calendar.  You know, the one Mr. Larry makes and gives to all his peoples?  It is the "birthday" word for him today!  He is very clever to make a note of that on the calender.  I think it would be more cleverer if Mr. Larry had written that it was the "birthday" word on all of the calendar spaces, but he did not.  Perhaps Mr. Larry is more subtle than I thought.

Then I did the math and realized that Mr. Larry is 64 years old.  Goodness.  Do you know how many years that is in dog years? 


Do we have to go through this again?  I am living in the same time-space continuum you are.  Really.  All dogs do.  We live fast and die young and try to score as many cookies as possible.  That is just how it is.  Get over it and stop trying to pretend we are actually living to 134 years or some such ridiculous nonsense. 

So, have the good "birthday" word, Mr. Larry.  And be sure to remember me on "give your favorite dog some cookies" day!  I checked the calendar.  It is on there.  A few times.  Although it is a little sloppy and hard to read.

P.S.  I apparently caused some confusion about the name of Mr. Larry last time I talked about him and his fantastic cookie sharing.  See, there is "brother-of-Boss" and "mom-of-Boss" but not "dad-of-Boss".  Which apparently led some people to believe that Boss was born out of an alien pod or some such nonsense.  Actually, this leads me to believe that the people who were confused were all actually the bat crazy cat pretending to be confused people.  So I will be very clear, and yes I am talking to you, you stupid bat crazy cat:  Mr. Larry is the name of the dad of Boss.  He is real.  And Boss is not an alien born out of a pod!  Although sometimes Mr. Larry says that Boss is adopted.  But I do not think we should discuss that as it will create more confusion.  Boss agrees.  She agrees that Mr. Larry is possibly not her father after all as he has very attractive knees and she does not.  She is very bitter about this.