Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Photoshop Makes Boss Swear

Boss is her usual high maintenance self this morning.  She is home all day today and has told Player and Talker that she is not actually here.  And that they can not call her the word "mom" but that "princess" would be a good word to use instead.  And Boss got a phone call and I heard the "princess" word used again.  And boss is eating cake for breakfast and making happy squealing noises as she makes paper bits and pretty-paper-picture-story pages happen in our hang-out room.

But every once in a while she stops making happy squealing noises and starts making angry swearing noises.  I watch her carefully because I do not want to be the one she is looking at when this happens.  I think I have not eaten any ink pens and stained the carpet for at least 3 days now so this can not be why Boss is angry.  And I am pretty sure I have not accidentally chewed on her favorite most expensive ridiculously lacy bra since that one time, I promise, although the padding squeaked delightfully in my teeth and I would like to try it just one more time to be sure it was that marvelous.  And I have not tried to taste the cat AT ALL today.  I think.  So I am not sure why Boss is angry but I have been watching her carefully and it appears to have something to do with the word Photoshop.  Whatever that Photoshop word means, it had better let Boss do whatever she wants because today is supposed to be a happy day.  And if Boss is happy, I might get to have a piece of cake.  Or a little bit of a piece of a cake.  I am hopeful and watching Boss to catch her in a weak moment when puppy-dog eyes will be most effective.

Oh!  See that!  Boss said "booyah!" and did a fist pump and is making happy squealing noises again!  Now she is looking at me and using words I do not understand about "control you" and "decreasing saturation" and she is happy and making a big smile at me and I hope she does not notice I have found a delightfully sweaty and wonderfully disgusting ball cap that I only chewed on just a little bit as I am savoring the flavor and maybe should hide until later.  In fact, I think I better lay here sort of on top of this ball cap and wait for another moment for cake-begging.  Because today is a happy day and I do not want to be in trouble.

Now that Boss and the Photoshop word are friends again, Boss is making pictures to go into the obsessive birthday book.  The obsessive birthday book is very much like a pile of messy pretty-paper-picture-story pages now.  But there is something wrong with the pictures.  They do not have much color and look like mushy newspaper.  Oh.  See that?  Boss is irritated and angry again and is now looking at me.  What?  The pictures in the obsessive birthday book do not have enough color, no they do not.  Maybe Boss should fix them with the Photoshop word.

The best page of the obsessive birthday book so far - look, there I am with my toys!

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