Talker is Finished

Talker smells marvelous.  I want to roll on him!

Talker is finished with baseball. And it is not because I ate the laces out of his catcher's glove. That happened a while ago, so I am not to blame for this.

Talker says... well, Talker says a lot. A LOT. Talker talks and talks and talks and talks and then talks some more and then adds in a few more words to fill in the silence while he prepares his mouth to talk more. So you will understand that sometimes Talker says things and I do not pay attention to all the words. Some words do not make sense anyway. "Buff buns" are words that do not make sense. "Monkey bun sauce" are other words that do not make sense but make me want to see if there is food on the floor that has appeared since the last time I looked. "Turkish chickens" are words that really do not make any sense and are disappointing at the same time. These words do not seem to mean anything useful as Boss does not have cans of chicken that need licking out. And even more distressing is that these words make all my people laugh when these words are said. "Cabbages" is another word that Talker says that make all my people laugh. I do not understand my people when this happens. Cabbage is not humorous. And I am thinking Talker is not either, but I am only a simple dog so maybe that is why I do not understand what these words mean. Perhaps these are the funniest words that my people have. Oh. I am not sure I am feeling better about this.

But Talker says he is finished with baseball.

Talker is finished because the season is over. I do not know why the season is over, but it is. Perhaps it is because Talker played almost perfectly awesome and he can not get much better so he should stop now while he is at his peak. Perhaps it is because they beat the other team and have no one to play with now. Perhaps it is because my people are tired of going to baseball games four nights a week and wish to spend more time with me. Oh! Now I am feeling better! That is probably exactly the reason why the baseball season is over!

Talker says he played left field and "got burned once with a hard shot over my head." Oh, I know how that feels. Sometimes my paws feel burned when we walk on the hot sidewalk and I have to get on the grass quick and sniff around so that no one knows my little tender feet are tender. I pretend to sniff very interesting smells in the grass so that other dogs do not think I am a wimp but that I am very focused on smells instead. I do not know if Talker smelled the grass a little after he got burned, but I recommend it. This fools people all the time. Talker says he made up for it by later making "an absolutely fantastic throw to home to gun down a runner and end the inning". This sounds surprisingly violent for an activity that Boss would allow to happen. Boss and Big One discuss things like this sometimes and they make disagreeing noises at each other. Boss is not raising animals, she says, and Big One disagrees because he says boys are animals. I swear this is how the discussion starts. I do not say that I understand this. Talker also says that he "drove in a run with a sharp single midway through the game to right field, and also had two walks and did a lot of base running through the game." What? Are these words that should be used all in a sentence together like that? I am sorry, perhaps I zoned out and was thinking about Turkish chickens or monkey bun sauce and did not hear all the words correctly. Now I am wondering if there is any food on the floor in the kitchen that has appeared since the last time I looked for some...

I am a very simple dog and I have decided that baseball is not simple. It is probably good that Talker is finished. Speaking of finished... maybe I can finish his catcher's glove if he will not be needing it anymore. I will go see if I can find it.