Saturday, July 28, 2012

Player Is Lost

I am hearing a lot about Player being lost, but I do not understand as he fed me two times today, walked me one time, and played with me a lot.  A LOT.  Because that is what Player does, is play with me.  Sometimes he giggles and runs and chases and gets me a little wound up and then I have to get told the "NO!" word in a very loud voice.  Which I think is silly, because I am right here and I can hear you.  The "NO!" word does not have to be so loud.  No, it does not.  And when I do not listen to the "NO!" word it is not because I did not hear it.  It is because Player got me a little wound up.  But sometimes Player sits next to me and plays with my ears and my jowls.  I think he thinks I am adorable with my ears curled up into little rolled up velvety ear burritos.  I like burritos.  I think Player should feed me burritos when he is done being lost.

Player apparently got lost at the baseball game a few nights ago.  Now I am even more confused.  Player is on Big One's team.  How Big One could lose a kid wearing bright orange socks is a little bit of a mystery.  I mean, Big One seems to lose things, or at least, not find things on a regular basis.  This makes Boss have a frowny forehead face when she talks to Big One about where something is.  But Boss is not making that face at Big One for losing Player.  And Player is here.  I just checked.  He is not lost.  I do not understand, so maybe I will tell you exactly what I heard, and let you try to figure out this nonsense.  I have decided that baseball is not simple, and that I am glad we are not going to any more games.  Because this "lost" word has to do with the "baseball" word.

Apparently Player was in the World Series.  Yes!  Oh!  How exciting!  Player must be a very, very good player of baseball to go to the World Series!  Boss is rolling her eyes at me.  She says to calm down.  Yes, Player was in the World Series, but it was the World Series of this town which has seven teams.  Oh.  Wow.  I had no idea the world was so small.  I had sort of thought that it was bigger.  At least, it seems bigger on Google Earth.  Apparently Player was in the World Series and he played in the tie-breaker game which has nothing to do with destroying neckwear (see, told you this baseball thing is confusing) and his team tried so very hard and did a very good job and were very good teammates and players but got lost.  So now I am thinking Big One lost an entire team of baseball players but this is not actually the case because they all went out and drank pops and laughed and had a good time after they all stopped crying.  Because getting lost is scary and sad at the same time.  Player and his friends do not have very good sniffers so they can not get lost and find their own way home by following the little drops of pee that a dog like me leaves whenever I walk so that I can find my way home if Boss forgets which way to go and I must save her like the wonderful and fantastic dog that I am!  Oh!  Yes!  I am fantastic!

So Player is lost but not lost.  And Player is not only a player of dog ears but a player of baseball.  Player is good at both, and I am glad.

Boss took some pictures of Player earlier this year, before his hat and his shirt got so disgusting that he won the "Most Disgusting Hat" and "Most Disgusting Shirt" contests after they got lost at the World Series game.  Boss is looking forward to washing them both.  Yes.  She said that.  Yes, I am surprised and confused about that too.  This whole blog post is confusing, I have decided, so I think I will stop and just show the pictures now.
Player practices throwing at Number 1.
Big One and Player discuss strategy.  Or Dairy Queen.  Which they do not share with me at all.
Boss takes pictures behind a fence.  Boss says it is artistic.  I do not agree.

1 comment:

  1. this is cracking me up! How can you write like this, it is so confusing :)