September Sneaks are Here!

And guess what?  The ScrapRoom thinks I am brilliant.  Because the silly secretness of the paper that is used for the sneaky pretty-paper-picture-story pages is not happening this month!  The silly secretness is gone like the squirrel farts of last winter in high breeze!  Yes!  The sneaky pretty-paper-picture-story pages have paper that is revealed... as paper!!!!  With names!!!!!

*blink*

I am sorry, but I still think the whole sneaky pretty-paper-picture-story page thing is still a bit silly.  It is not sneaky at all.  We all know it is coming.  Especially me.  Because I have been watching Boss make the sneaky pretty-paper-picture-story pages and she is not especially sneaky.  No, she is not.  She does not shut the door of our hang-out room.  She does not creep in here late at night.  No.  She just works on them whenever she wants and then shows them to Player and Talker and Big One.  Not very sneaky at all.  But I will still show you the September Sneak that Boss made for The ScrapRoom.  And an extra close up!  Which is not sneaky at all!  No, it is not. It is actually even easier to see, which is not sneaky.  But I will let you decide.

WRMK Hall Pass - Back 2 School

Boss changed the color of the buttons and used the paper names as tags.  I think she is too lazy to find the right color buttons and make real tags.  But I think this is finally a little sneaky.

A Crop and a Challenge!

Boss is very happy.  It is because of a word called "crop" which involves making a large mess in our hang-out room and spending a lot of time using the computer.  And it is A LOT of time because I have had a hard time getting this blog written because Boss is being a hog of the internet. 

There is the "crop" word going on at The ScrapRoom on the message board.  Part of what a crop is, besides making a large mess and hogging the internet is another word that makes no sense with the other word:  "challenge".  Because Boss is using them together like this:  "crop challenge".  No.  It has nothing to do with a difficult farming season.  It has nothing to do with the complex process of choosing vegetables to plant in the spring.  No, it seems to have everything to do with making pretty-paper-picture-story pages following special rules.  I am confused by this.  There are not supposed to be rules for making pretty-paper-picture-story pages.  Boss says this all the time.  ALL THE TIME.  It is said often enough that I do not even pay any attention to this statement any more.  It is said so many times that the repetition of it has become repetitive and annoying.  But now Boss is excited about having rules all of a sudden.  I do not understand.

Boss says maybe an example would be a good idea.  Okay, but Boss usually has examples that are only more confusing.  We shall see.

Boss has a "challenge" word for the "crop" word.  It is a collection challenge.  Oh.  I see where this is going.  Boss thinks you should go collect a bunch of stuff for your pretty-paper-picture-story pages and make a big mess with them.  A big mess!  A BIG ONE!  EVERYWHERE!!!!!  Oh.  Boss is making a frowny-forehead face at me.  She wishes I would stop interrupting and just listen.  Fine.  I will sit here and be very quiet.  And not say a word.  And be perfectly still.  And not mention that I am a very quiet dog and a very patient dog all of the time anyway.  And be waiting quietly and patiently for Boss to explain these words to me.  Because I am a very simple dog, and ---

I am about to get into trouble.  I am being quiet.  For real.  And I will hold my mouth shut with my paw, and ---

I am trying to be quiet!!!!  I AM!  Boss says I am very trying.  I do not understand.  But she is now explaining that the collection challenge is to find a collection of things you have, and to use at least 5 items from your collection on a card or a pretty-paper-picture-story page.  That is all?  Those are silly rules.  If you want better rules, you should ask a dog.  Like me!  Because I am very clever and very smart and ---

In very much trouble.  Never mind.  Just look at these pictures that Boss made to show people how to play the "collection challenge" words.  Then go play at The ScrapRoom in the "crop" word.

Washi tape collection.  "Washi" is not a verb.  It is an adjective.  Or maybe a noun.

Button collection.   I am sure that "button" is a noun.  And they are tasty.

Ribbon collection.  I think that ribbon tastes not very good, but it is fun to chew on anyway.

There And Back Again: A Doggie Holiday

That title is the idea of Big One and it makes Boss giggle.  It has something to do with hairy feet, wizards, and a ring, but that has nothing to do with what we have been doing the last four days.  What?  It is one ring?  Well yes.  I said that.  "A ring" implies the singular, does it not?  And the word "singular" means "one", does it not?  So why are you getting snooty about one ring or a ring or any rings at all?  Especially since there were no rings on this trip.

Let me tell you that I am an awesome trip taker.  I am very good at going places and I am excellent at being the word "photogenic".  I know this is true because Boss said it herself.  So I will not take up any more time typing.  I will show you pictures, and I know that Boss is already planning pretty-paper-picture-story pages to go with them.  Because, as you will see, I am awesomeness.  And I really must point out there are no rings in any of these pictures so do not get confused by the title.

I am very proud to be at the 45°/90° intersection.  There are only 4 in the whole world and this is the only one that was visited by me.

I get my own bed at the hotel.  Poor Boss has to sleep with Big One.

We saw nine lighthouses.  They are not really this tiny, although it looks like I could eat this one for a snack.

Whitefish Dunes State Park has a dog beach.  Yes!  A dog beach!!!  Just for me!

The sign says "difficult" but I say you should just "dog up" and deal with it.

I was born to hike.  See how I blend in and look like I am one with the trail?  Awesomeness.

Turns out I am not a fan of boat rides.  I figured it out right away.  I did not need four ferry rides to decide.

Turns out I *am* a big fan of frozen custard.  I wish they would have let me try four times to be sure.

We found 15 decorated sturgeons in Sturgeon Bay.  Boss took multiple pictures of each one.  No, I guess you are not surprised.

P.S.  Talker and Player:  Please disregard the things the bat crazy cat said.  We know you are in Florida and that no one is harvesting any organs from anybody.  Boss asked me to tell you that she bought you the "salt water taffy" word and will save them for you if you are good.  Please be bad so Boss will eat them and maybe give one to me.

Guest Blogger: Interview

Bauxite and Obsidian:  Saving the world, one zombie at a time.

Hello, Bauxite reporting in while everyone is gone... somewhere.  Everyone left and Talker was the most excited of the bunch.  I'm afraid that he has numbed everyone's brains with his incessant "monkey bun sauce" and "Turkish chickens" talk and has tricked them into driving away with him to some undisclosed location where he will harvest their organs, too.  The only bright spot in all this is that he has also taken that idiotic dog with them.  We may finally have some peace around here.  Oh, and there's another potential bright spot - this lull in activity has given me an opportunity to have a serious conversation - an interview, if you will - with this new cat.

Bauxite:  So I understand that you used to have a perfectly good name like the rest of us but now have been saddled with a geologically-inspired name... again, like the rest of us.  You now make animal number seven in this household to be named in such a fashion.  Hmmmm.  Seven.  This is a number of great portent... and deep meaning.  But before we delve into that, let's talk about your name.

This New Cat:  Uh, yeah.  What about it?  Just a name, man.  Just a name.

Bauxite:  Don't you see how twisted this all is?  These people think they are so clever.  You were once Maya - until you inexplicably became male and had to leave your foster home.  Now you are Obsidian, because (as these people are fond of explaining) this was a mineral once traded by the Mayan culture as a high-value item.  They call you Sid for short - but this also seems to mess with Greywacke as he thinks he is being told to sit.  Do you find this amusing?  Or does this concern you?  And how did you start out female and end up male?  Were you abducted by aliens?  Or is this a government plot of some kind???

Obsidian:  Dude, I was always a dude.  Not my fault that they didn't ask me when they found me in that shed.  And like I said before... just a name, man.  No big deal.

Bauxite:  Ah, you evade the question.  And you are animal number seven.  Perhaps... Agent Seven?  What agency do you represent?  Are you here in response to my letters and emails?  Can you believe the insanity in this household???  HAVE YOU FOUND MY KIDNEY??????

Obsidian:  I don't know what you are talking about, man.

Bauxite:  Oh.  Yes.  I see.  I do not want to blow your cover.  I was watching you earlier, trapped in that bag and then later acting as if you were hiding under that piece of paper.  You have quite cleverly concealed your intelligence and cunning.  Amazing.  I've got your back.  Just let me know when it's time to move in and take down the zombie.

Obsidian:  Uh.  Yeah, dude.  Okay...

My People Have People!

And they have dogs!  I am very happy and excited to tell you that I have cousins!  Oh!  YES!!!  I HAVE COUSINS!!!!!!!  I did not know that this blog would be so helpful like that.  I thought I would just keep track of what my people did, and tell you, and then hope for a cupcake to come in the mail.  I never would have guessed that my cousins would read my blog and then send me email!  Oh!  YES!!!  I HAVE COUSINS!!!!!!!!  And they read my blog!

The first email that made me excited was from my cousin Milo.  I am sad but I can not find that email right now.  Boss thinks maybe she deleted it.  Oh.  This makes me sad.  I got my first ever email from my first ever cousin and Boss lost it.  Boss says she is sorry, but I think she should be very very sorry and make me cookies to cheer me up.  Oh yes.  That is a marvelous idea!

Milo came to visit me and has marvelously huge and has the most amazing floppy ears.  They are bigger than mine, and Player likes playing with them quite a bit.  My ears are smaller, but that means that they are just a little more adorable when compared to the huge velvety ears of Milo.  Milo was rescued from a shelter just like me.  That means we are the word "related" I think.  You can see in this pretty-paper-picture-story page that Boss made a while ago that both Milo and I know how to get the attention of Big One.  I think Milo is brilliant.  That means I know we are the word "related" after all!

The second email that made me excited was from my other cousin Willow.  Before she met her people, Willow used to live in a foster home when she was getting better from a broken jaw.  This hurts more than when your people accidentally trim your nails too short.  A lot more.  A LOT.  So Willow was adopted too.  And she is cute.  This means I am the word "related" to this cousin also.  I saved the emails from Willow in a clever way so that even Boss could not accidentally delete it.  I am a very clever dog.  Yes I am!

Good morning Grey,

I am told that Belle used to love old frozen pizza "circles" the cardboard trays that frozen pizzas are served on.  I bet you might like those too.  My mom says that you Boss' papers are indeed really cool and the photos of her scrapping are so creative and awesome. 

I'm looking forward to meeting you, Mom tells me about the stories you write.  I'll have to tell you about the strange dog bowl that I have someday, I bet you get a regular one, huh? They think I eat too fast so I have to have this silly  bowl with partitions in it and my nose doesn't even fit in there so I have to lick out the chunks of dog food.  Now that I am 1 year old, the chunks are bigger (I'm really not complaining here) but they are bigger and heavier for my tongue to lick up.  I just wish I could have a regular bowl.  What do you think?

Talk to you soon Grey,

Your cousin, Willow

I was so very excited to get email from my cousin Willow that I wrote her an email back right away!  I am a prompt and courteous cousin, let me tell you that!

Good morning, Willow!

Oh gosh, I am so happy to hear from you!  This is exciting learning about cousins!!!!
I am sorry to hear about your food dish.  But it sounds like your food must be more better than my food.  I do not eat it all at once.  It is not as good as cat poop out of the litter box.  Which is what Boss thinks I spoil my dinner on.  And caramel corn.  I like caramel corn.

Boss says to say hello to your people.  Boss also says that they are coming over to Milo's house sometime soon.  Maybe I can meet you at the dog park before we go back home?  I would like that a lot.  A LOT.

Your cousin, Grey

Willow and I write to each other back and forth.  I can not wait to meet her!  

Boss is making a serious face at me right now.  She says that rescuing or adopting a dog is the best way to get a dog, and I would be silly to disagree.  Because if I was not rescued, I would not be able to write a blog.  They do not allow computers at the shelter because of all the internet issues with Google searches to look at french poodles and the Timberwolves basketball team.  Yes, I am very glad to have electronics privileges.  VERY GLAD.  So you should rescue a dog from a shelter.  They would love to write a blog for you, too. 

Edited by Boss 8/16/12 10:02 AM:
I *am* really sorry I lost Milo's email... but guess what?  I found it!!!  Here it is.  Enjoy.  Now get off my back, Grey!  And I want those cookies back!!!  LOL

I enjoyed hearing from a cousin that I haven't yet met and I'm sure the two of us will have a blast together, sniffing butts. It's only a story that I hear re-told, but I have heard from Mama & Papa that the absolute worst stench in the world (on a family dog) was when MJ, the dog before me, rolled in a dead skunk. teehee. What a hoot! Doncha just wish! Anxious to meet but more anxious to return to my nap.....lovingly, Milo

Boss Believes in Evolution

And something called Chaos Theory.  Also, the Second Law of Thermodynamics.  These are things you can look up on Wikipedia.  I did, but I was not able to understand how these words mean anything when describing the room that Boss does her pretty-paper-picture-story pages in.  Because Boss said these words about our hang-out room.  And so I am confused.  But I am a very simple dog so let me tell you how this all happened.

Boss was making a pretty-paper-picture-story page for a challenge going on at The ScrapRoom, in the message board where Boss talks to a lot of people without actually having to stop singing Dinah Washington songs at me.  I like Dinah Washington.  I like it when Boss asks me "is you is or is you ain't my baby?" and then makes a big smile at me and then ruffles my fur and then tells me "you is my baby, baby!" and then I ask for caramel corn.  The message board has lots of good ideas and funny things going on because Boss laughs a lot and giggles and types more when this happens.  One of the ideas was to lift two people and make a pretty-paper-picture-story page about it.  I know this seems like the kind of bat crazy talk you would expect from the bat crazy cat, but really, this is what Boss said.  And I know that Boss is pretty amazing but I would not be thinking she can lift one person, much less two.  And I am not making the words "fat joke" here.  I am just being honest.  Because dogs do not lie.  No they do not.  So Boss lifted two people and made a pretty-paper-picture-story page about it that has nothing to do with lifting people.  But it does have something to do with the "evolution" word.

There are no people being lifted here.  Even I can see that.

Boss says this picture was taken before she redid our hang-out room.  This would be before I was around and therefore boring and uninteresting.  It is not really worth talking about, but I will just so I can maybe get some help understanding how all those long science words mean "hang-out room."  I am worried about this because this is my favorite room in the whole house.  There is only one room in the house with caramel corn in it, and it is this room.  This is a very important room. 

So Boss painted and put in cupboards and Big One made very nice countertops.  This is what it looked like when it was all brand new.

 

 

I am smiling my big happy dog smile and wagging my tail very fast because this room has NEVER looked like this.  I am laughing and if you think this room looks like this, then I think this is what Boss calls the word "baloney."  Which I adore because who does not like baloney?  It is related to other lovely meats called "hot dog" and "lunch meat" which are also quite excellent.  Oh!  Boss is now explaining that my laughing at these pictures is exactly illustrating her point about Chaos Theory and the Second Law of Thermodynamics.  Um.  I am not sure about this.  But I will say that I think our hang-out room is a little different now.  It has about twice as much stuff in it as before and then Boss had to go shopping and make a huge mess and then put it all back in different places that are close to the old place but not quite the same.  And now Boss is happy, even though there is some stuff that is not completely put away yet and it is stuff I am not allowed to lay on.  I do not want to lay on it anyway, as it is lumpy, but Boss gives me the closely-watching eye when I go anywhere near it. 

Boss says it is now a better room than before.  I must agree.  There are now Cool Ranch Doritos next to the caramel corn.

Boss is excited about the cards on the fun spinnie thing and the thread on the wall.  The thread thing made me need to hide because it made Boss swear.  A lot.  A LOT.

All the stuff was taken out, mixed together, and put back in.  I do not understand.

Boss likes all the pink stuff together.  I do not like pink.  I am a boy dog.

Boss Gives Away the Good Stuff

And I am not happy.  I think Boss should give away the stuff that I do not care for.  Like the bat crazy cat.  Or this new cat.  Or the squirt bottle.  Or the word "NO!"  Or shampoo.  Or the really unfortunate rule about dogs not getting cupcakes.  But nobody asked me.  So that is why I am telling you that I think things would be better if I was asked about giving stuff away.  Because I have ideas!  Good ideas!

Boss has made things for The ScrapRoom, and has shown you how to make them, and she still thinks she needs to give them to you.  This is called the words "tutorial" and "giveaway."  It is being bossy and generous at the same time, which is not the normal way of doing things if you ask me.  But since you did not ask me, that is called "giving you my opinion."  Oh.  Boss is making a hurry-up face at me.

I think you should go check out the "tutorial" word here and then come back and click on this picture to see the "giveaway" word close up. 

And I will see about Boss letting the lucky winner have the cats also.  I will let you know how that works out.

Boss Has Good Stuff

It has been a good week for Boss. Since Talker is finished and Player is lost, Boss says she is loving staying home and playing. There are two things wrong with this statement. First of all, Boss is not really home. She still spends most of the time gone somewhere else. I do not know where she is but she comes home smelling like tea, paper, and a deliciously disgusting computer keyboard. I will not pretend to guess what Boss is doing because I do not want to be accused of having bat crazy ideas. That is what the bat crazy cat does - not me. Also, when Boss says the word "play" she does not mean the good kind of play that means rolling in the grass or chasing the frisbee or teasing the cats or running from this room to that room to this room to that room over and over and over again until flopping down and having to pant a lot and making a big smile and sticky slobber at nearby people. No, when Boss says the word "play" she means the boring kind of play that means cutting paper and talking to herself and messing with the music thing and walking back and forth and back and forth and back and forth between the paper and the computer, and sometimes carrying the paper.

But I will tell you that I like it when Boss does boring playing most of the time. This is because Boss will sing and make happy faces and tell me that I am good when I am just laying there and keeping an eye on her. Boss is sometimes very simple, I think. I especially like it when Boss sings Adele at me because her happy face gets happier and she sings right at me and makes silly lovey faces. Boss singing Adele at me is much preferred to Boss singing Linkin Park at me. I close my eyes and pretend to sleep when this is happening because I am a little worried that Boss will make eye contact with me while singing Linkin Park and I will get confused by the angry noises and frowny forehead face and then I might think I am in trouble and then I might accidentally leave the room and then I won't be able to keep an eye on Boss. And that is important.

It is important for me to keep an eye on Boss because she might drop caramel corn on the floor. It is delicious and she has some in a bag by the computer. I am always listening for the sound of that bag opening because Boss can not resist my puppy-dog eyes and adorableness. She pretends to drop the caramel corn on the floor because she can not resist me. I am awesome at getting caramel corn. The other reason it is important for me to keep an eye on Boss is because she makes pretty-paper-picture-story pages that I really like and want to share with you. I will show you what she has been making this week and I am finally done waiting for the one that was on the table being worked on. I will not mention that this one took four days to finish and that I was tired of waiting for it a long time ago. I will not mention that Boss was making swearing sounds at the buttons that are on the page. I will just move on before Boss notices that I am talking about that pretty-paper-picture-story page that took forever to make.  Oh.  I think I should also remind you of the rule that Boss has about not showing people who are not our people on the pretty-paper-picture-story pages that Boss makes.  So the pretty-paper-picture-story page that I am not discussing with you?  I can not show all of it.  I can only show you the buttons that Boss made swearing noises at.

For a BasicGrey Sketch Challenge.  These are not the swearing buttons.

These are the swearing buttons!

Boss also made a few pages that are just pretty-paper and not pretty-paper-picture-stories.  I think this is interesting but confusing.  I also think it is interesting but confusing that Boss put them on the wall.  I think they are pretty but they are a little boring.  Especially since they do not feature me.  Oh!  Yes!  I think that is what would make them better.  I think I will let Boss know that I have figured out how to make the pretty-paper-hung-on-the-wall things better and more exciting!  I think you should look at these pictures and then comment that you agree with me and that these pretty-paper-hung-on-the-wall things need a picture of me added to them.  Then Boss will have to agree too and fix them!

The one Boss added BasicGrey paper to.  You can make one too!

The one Boss took a picture of, changed the colors of with the "Photoshop" word, and then reprinted small.  This is Fancy Pants Be You paper.  No, I do not understand anything I just typed.

The August Reveal Has Happened!

I want to tell you that the "August Reveal" words have happened over at The ScrapRoom! All the secret paper is no longer secret and you can look at it over and over and over and over again and make happy faces and sounds at it. I do not understand this. It is paper. It is not as exciting as a hamburger wrapper in the grass next to the sidewalk. Oh! Yes! Hamburger wrappers in the grass next to the sidewalk are worth looking at over and over and over and over again and making happy faces and sounds over! But Boss does not agree. Boss suggests I make a clever linky thing to show you the secret paper that is no longer a secret. Look! A clever linky thing to the secret paper that is no longer a secret! Boss made a big sigh at me. She now suggests I make a clever linky thing to show you the wonderful things that can be made with the secret paper that is no longer a secret. Look! A clever linky thing to the wonderful things that can be made with the secret paper that is no longer a secret! Boss is not finding me funny. Boss says you should look at all the pretty-paper-picture-story pages and cards and love them all. I will tell you that you can and should but you should like the ones Boss did in the "Doubleshot" section just a tiny bit more than the other ones. Boss has now become slightly irritated with me. But I do not care. I am a fan of Boss. And I will make you some close-ups of the pretty-paper-picture-story pages that Boss made for The ScrapRoom so you can enjoy them almost as much as a hamburger wrapper in the grass next to the sidewalk!