Monday, April 22, 2013

I Fixed The Blog Posts of Boss, Part 1

So sometimes Boss writes blog posts all by herself for The ScrapRoom and Evalicious.  I think this is cuteness of Boss.  But I secretly am thinking that I could have done a better job of explaining the pictures and writing the words, so I am going to redo the blog posts of Boss here just for you.  I am sure she would appreciate this thoughtfulness by me.  I am very good like that.  In fact, Boss says I am the bestest dog she has ever had, so I am sure this is one of the things that makes me even better than bestest!

If you want to read the words of Boss herself, you can go here for the post about making these cards.  But it is not that good.  Just saying.  You know that dogs can not lie.  Not ever.

Boss Makes Cards That Are Not Good Blankets

You know Boss... always looking for some excuse to sit in our hang-out room and not do any of the "cooking" or "cleaning" or "parenting" words.  So Boss made these cards out of scraps that she did not feed to me.  I find this sadness and disappointment, but sometimes Boss is not the best Boss she can be.  But she is trying to be better, I am sure.


So Boss made these cards out of scraps and tried to pass them off as fine art or some such nonsense.  This might have worked, but Boss explained how it was really easy and even if you do a terrible sloppy job all you have to do is put some tasty stuff on top.  And then she summed it all up by saying the "easy peasy" words which really makes me question Boss because really nothing is easy peasy around here.  I know for a fact there was swearing involved.  

And then Boss cuts right to the really long involved directions to make the cards that she claims are the "easy peasy" words.  Either they are the "easy peasy" words or they are not.  They can not be both.  And I know they were not.  Because of the swearing words.
Boss says these are flying geese and that you can make a blanket out of flying geese.  I say nonsense to both of those ideas.  I know geese when I taste them, and this is not them.
Boss says to make square cards because they are frightfully expensive to mail but if you are going to make a card, then you better be prepared to spend some money somewhere.  Because making cards for people means you are secretly cheap, way deep down.  On the other hand (or paw, if you are a very simple dog)... It maybe you have too much paper and you have already spent so much money that more money is not that big of a deal.  I think this is the "good money after bad" words.  These are two very interesting theories for square cards.  Boss does not mention either of these theories.  She says that quilt squares are square so that quilt cards should be square too.  This is not actually that creative.
Boss does math here in her blog post.  I will skip that part and talk about squirrels instead.  I think they would be most deliciousness, but they are also sort of fastish so I do not get to taste them very often.  Actually, never.  I have tasted a squirrel never, but someday I will catch Mr. Red Squirrel unawares when he is going under the side porch and give him a good tasting.
Boss makes envelopes for these cards.  See the theories above about either being cheap or throwing the "good money after bad" words.
As typical for Boss, she spent a ridiculous amount of time making the cards fancy.  It would be faster to teach me to drive, get me a job, and then let me earn enough money to put gas in the car and drive to Hallmark and buy a card.  And then stop at Dairy Queen for an ice cream cone of deliciousness!
A closer look.  Enough already.

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