Tuesday, April 30, 2013

All My Peoples Left the Country and Then Came Back

Yes, it is true.  My peoples and their peoples all left the country.  This means they put me and the bat crazy cat and this new cat in the kennel place and then after a little while came back and got us.  It does not seem to matter what they call this sort of behavior, to us it is always the same.  This time they called it the "leaving the country" words.  Sometimes they call it the "going to Florida" words.  Sometimes they call it the "we are leaving and not taking you with us" words.  And they always act so sad to do this.  And so happy to come back.  And to show everyone pictures.  It seems that they could do all the picture things and skip the kennel place entirely.  Now, I do enjoy that kennel place, but I enjoy being with my peoples more.  Even if all they do is talk about their trip to Belize.

Look!  It is mom-of-Boss, brother-of-Boss, Big One, Talker, Boss, and Player!  They are sitting on very comfortable chairs while they drink the world famous Jet Bar rum punch and wait for their little airplane to take them to an even smaller airport.  Boss says there are 6 gates at this airport.  And that the Jet Bar burned down right after they left to come home.  Brother-of-Boss was unsupervised for an hour although he claims he did not do it.  I do not know if brother-of-Boss can be trusted because he does not feed me cookies.  I encourage him to do trust-building exercises with me the next time he sees me.  Oh, and look at how pale and unpeeling all the skin of my peoples is.  This will change.  And that sentence was foreshadowing.
The first breakfast on the island.  Boss had the priority of taking pictures of food and not the island, so you must wait for that.  This is the "suspense" word.  (I am auditing a writing class so I am learning all of the important parts of story parts.  You will be learning right along with me.  You are much excitedness about that, I think!)
My favorite cookie sharing person is Mr. Larry.  He is going with mom-of-Boss and Willy to find cookies to bring back to me.  It will be a great adventure on the high seas!  Or in the high seas.  Or the low seas.  I am not sure, actually.   However, I am certain that Mr. Larry and mom-of-Boss are going to go under the water to find me cookies.  They are called "sea biscuits".  And that is a factual statement.
Boss caught a fish!  Boss said she was sorry but she ate it and did not bring it back to me to roll on. 
Talker and Player learn how to poke their fingers into fishes.  Talker is not so sure.  Player is totally cool with it.  Or, that is what it looks like anyway.  I think you have to poke your fingers into the fish so you can wave them around and make screaming noises while people try to take your picture.
Player.  Adorableness. 
Brother-of-Boss and Reggie catch little tiny fish to put on big hooks to catch monsterous sized fish.  Like the very scary killer ninja sergeant major fish or the incredibly vicious starfish.  Boss and Big One are still giggling over the funny things that Mr. Larry and mom-of-Boss said while they were sitting around drinking rum punch on the island.  Apparently mom-of-Boss said "I tell you what.  They.  Are.  Vicious."  And she was talking about starfish.  I know, right?  You are impressed with my ability to quote and cite sources.
Mr. Larry.  He is also called the "air sucking dog" words and the "odd-shaped bottom dweller" words.  I do not quite understand if this is good or bad.  But he does look delightfully chewy.
And this is mom-of-Boss.  Also delightfully chewy and probably running in fear from vicious starfish.
This is Big One.  He likes rum.  And rum punch.  And drinking it.
Big One and Player snorkel around the island.  They see lots of fish and Player very loudly hums the "Empire Strikes Back" theme song through his snorkel.  Boss says you can hear it when you get in the water and it is the "ominous" and "foreboding" words.  Boss is very good with her describing words.
This is a baby barracuda.  Apparently very tasty grilled with barbeque sauce. 
Boss does not like to snorkel in deep water with big fish but likes shallow water and little fish that sometimes end up in her swim shirt.  There is no explaining Boss sometimes.  But this is where she liked to hang out and take pictures of things that did not move very much.
Talker.  He told Boss he would not burn and got crabby about not listening.  And then Talker learned his lesson.  His skin peeled right off!  (And it still is, and it tastes delicious.  Do not tell anyone he is feeding it to me.  I could get into a lot of trouble.  Dogs are not supposed to eat peoples.)
Apparently brother-of-Boss sat here and waiting for the show to start every day.  I do not understand this, but I will quote some more for you as an illustrative method:  "Waiting for the show?"  "Yup."  Hm.  This was not really that helpful after all.  But it is another way to tell the story and people seem to like dialog.
The scary deep water that Boss did not enjoy.
And squid!  Boss was moderately happy about that.  But still not a fan of the deeper water snorkeling.  (Big One wishes to point out that it was maybe 6 - 8 feet deep.  But that is plenty deep enough for Boss and she did not like it, not one bit.)
This is Player doing the very delightful dog paddle over a very large brain coral.  (By the way, very is a very overused word and should be avoided lest you sound very not smart and very unable to come up with very descriptive words.  But I am a very independent dog and also very simple and I will use very a very lot if I want.)
Brother-of-Boss draws pictures of what he sees.  Boss says brother-of-Boss has a camera but this is how he rolls. 
Mom-of-Boss and Mr. Larry get their chewy delicious skins on and go back into the sea to find my cookies.
These are lobster and not cookies.  But I think they must be delicious based on the look on the face of Boss when she talks about the fantastic dinner they had that day.
And tortillas are made in a blue bucket by magic.  They were very much wonderfulness and Talker and Player would fight when there was only one left to eat.  Boss would smack them on the head and make them share.  Or give it to Big One.  This is a very good way to teach manners, says Boss.  Or at least a different way to teach manners.
Brother-of-Boss sleeps.  Because 11 hours a night is not enough.
Big One and Boss are on a little tiny island in the middle of the ocean...
... with everyone else.  And they seem to have all the important things like chairs and rum punch.  And a boat.  And they all laughed about something called a "three hour tour" but they were only on the little island for 45 minutes.  (This is the "cultural reference" words.  You would do well to Google that reference if you are confused.  The extra knowledge provided by the "cultural reference" words are supposed to give extra depth and meaning to the story.)
Player on the tiny island with what looks like MY COOKIE!!!!!!!
Awwww....  Big One and Boss.  And yes, that is Boss in a dress.  Maybe the world is going to end after all!  That statement may or may not be foreshadowing.  If it is not, then it is humor.  We will not know which one it is until the world actually ends.  Or does not.

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