National Scrapbooking Day is Awesomeness

I know you are startled that I think so, but it is true.  Because there are snacks!

And before you think those are too many snacks, wait until you see the deliciousness of the Chinese take-out foods!

But do not be startled.  It is because of Boss having a very special friend over for National Scrapbooking Day that there is such delightful food things here.  Yes, even this new cat thinks our most awesome oldest God-daughter is someone to watch and adore.  And it would be true.  (Even though she dropped chocolate on the floor and Boss had to take it out of my mouth.   But I got lots of popcorn and potato chips and rice bits to make up for it!)

And on this National Scrapbooking And Eating Tons of Ridiculous Tasty Foods Day, Boss and our most awesome oldest God-daughter made pretty-paper-picture-story pages.  And ate tons of ridiculous tasty foods.  And of course the pretty-paper-picture-story pages were special ones following rules over at The ScrapRoom even though Boss will claim there are no rules for pretty-paper-picture-story pages when it is convenient for her.  This is the "double standard" words but that is how Boss rolls.  And there are still a few bags of popcorn left, so I will not be making much of a fuss over the rule thing.

Tone-on-Tone Challenge:  Boss explained to our most awesome oldest God-daughter that the tone-on-tone words mean to put one color on top of itself.  Boss had trouble with this one because she likes lots of contrast she says.  Which means that she likes loud and tacky things.  Like sticky elephants, I guess.  Boss also says she did this pretty-paper-picture-story page in honor of our most awesome oldest God-daughter because the day after National Scrapbooking And Eating Tons of Ridiculous Tasty Foods and Following Challenging Rules Day is the day that our most awesome oldest God-daughter will be the "confirmed" word.  Which means she has to wear a robe and a flower and answer lots of questions about God and the Bible and other very deep topics.

Sketch Challenge:  This pretty-paper-picture-story page features the most adorable Player.  He is adorableness, and it is just fine that I make a redundant statement like that because it is TRUE.  The sketch that Boss needed to follow looks like this and it was a very most cleverest sketch made by friend-the-tallandstately.

Sketch Challenge:  And how much wonderfulness is it to make pretty-paper-picture-story pages about our most awesome brother-and-sister God-kids with our most awesome oldest God-daughter on National Scrapbooking And Eating Tons of Ridiculous Tasty Foods and Following Challenging Rules and Making Pretty-Paper-Picture-Story Pages About Our Awesome God-Kids Day?  Um, yes.  I think that whole thing was a question.  But I think I am trying to make a statement about how perfect this whole day is.  I think.  Oh!  The sketch for this pretty-paper-picture-story page looks like this and is made by the wonderful person that made The ScrapRoom.

Gilly Challenge:  This challenge made the head of Boss blow up, but to me she still looks the same and her head appears to be intact and everything.  Boss is trying to explain that mixing things up (which is one way the challenge could be done) is very difficult to do and hurts her head.  Because it hurts when your head blows up, I guess.  Our most awesome oldest God-daughter thinks Boss is a little exaggeratedness.  Our most awesome oldest God-daughter had no problems mixing things up.  Nope, not at all!  We think Boss is full of the "drama" words.

The Challenge of Boss:  Boss made this pretty-paper-picture-story page and then told people to just do whatever they wanted.  Now these are rules I can understand!  Boss said they could use the same colors, or way too many pieces of pretty paper, or ridiculous washi tape, or tasty twine, or a bunch of journaling about Talker.  Not many people chose to write about Talker.  I do not understand this, but no one asked me on National Scrapbooking And Eating Tons of Ridiculous Tasty Foods and Following Challenging Rules and Making Pretty-Paper-Picture-Story Pages About Our Awesome God-Kids and (Not) Journaling About Talker Day.  Which is really a shame.  Because I could write about Talker all day!

The Time Runs Faster Than That Red Squirrel

You know how fast that is, right?  That is faster than I can jump off the chair of Boss when Boss comes home.  That is faster than me when I steal the chicken can from the bat crazy cat and this new cat.  That is faster than Big One can drive, although Boss is giving me the raised eyebrow look.  This is the questioning look of Boss, but it means she is not going to bother to debate the issue.  This is the indicator of Boss knowing she is right but it is not worth stopping whatever she is doing to beat you to death with facts that you must acknowledge.  This look is meant to make you think about your next words carefully if you want any chance of doing anything remotely fun the rest of the evening.  Besides lose arguments to Boss.  So I will leave that last statement open ended and maybe modify it with the "perhaps" word.

But either way... the time around here goes fast.  I mean really fast.  Faster than that red squirrel who moves ridiculousness fast even with that big walnut in his mouth going back and forth between the side porch and the water tower.  I would run fast too if I was saving my nuts from psycho bats.

Boss just gave me the startled blink look.

But Big One says that the side porch has bats living under it and the red squirrel is carrying walnuts away from there to the water tower.  And then climbing the grape vines and going who knows where but when he comes back, he doesn't have any more nuts.  So he gets another one from the side porch.

Boss is making the "hurry it along" motion, combined with a slightly cross-eyed look.  I am unsure about this one.  So I will hurry it along.  The point I am making is that the time has gone so fast around here that I have not shown you the pretty-paper-picture-story pages and cards that Boss has made for The ScrapRoom and it is already the week after the May reveal!  So I will do that now!

Simple Stories Urban Traveler:  This is a 12x12 double pretty-paper-picture-story page and Boss is wondering how the heck this will fit in the 8.5x11 pretty-paper-picture-story page book.  Boss was not concerned in the beginning because she was not liking the pictures and was unsure about the layout but now she loves it and is doing the annoyed face at these pretty-paper-picture-story pages.  Boss gets that way sometimes and it is best to walk away quietly.  And Boss will figure it out.  Eventually.  And with many swearing words and the question "Why did I use so much tape?????"

Simple Stories Urban Traveler:  This card has many tasty tags all popped up and ready for me to pick them off and chew them up!  Oh, it will be very much delightfulness!  Wait.  Boss says she already gave that card to the fine peoples at Blue Water Rentals for the bestest vacation ever.  I mean, evah!

BasicGrey Knee Highs + The ScrapRoom Sketch:  So can you just imagine the happy squealing of Boss when she found out that she got to design with BasicGrey?  Oh yes.  It is her favorite paper of all time.  ALL TIME.  But I am sure she likes me a little bit more than this silly paper that has my name.  Well, part of my name, anyway.

BasicGrey Knee Highs:  Boss.  And the snow she loves.  Goodness, that woman is not right in the head.  (Boss would like to point out the absolutely adorable bottle caps and fun washi-like sticker things that came with this kit from The ScrapRoom.  Whatever.  It is just because it is BasicGrey that she is all squeally and annoyingly in love with this paper.)

BasicGrey Knee Highs:  Yes, an adorable card.  And Boss already mailed this one, too!  She is a mailer of cards, that is for sure.

Project Life Kit:  Boss shows the duck on the roof at work and then the delightful dinner she made with the duck.  What?  No?  That is chicken with bacon?  Whatever.  I am sure it tastes like duck.

Project Life Kit:  And it is Boss again.  And the snow again.  And this time Boss has gone too far with these teeny pretty-paper-picture-story pages.  I know for a fact that all three of these pictures ARE FROM THE SAME DAY.  Only one picture is necessary per day.  ONLY ONE.  Read the teeny pretty-paper-picture-story page rules, Boss.  Oh, what?  There are no rules for teeny pretty-paper-picture-story pages?  Oh, sure.  Now Boss remembers that rule.

All My Peoples Left the Country and Then Came Back

Yes, it is true.  My peoples and their peoples all left the country.  This means they put me and the bat crazy cat and this new cat in the kennel place and then after a little while came back and got us.  It does not seem to matter what they call this sort of behavior, to us it is always the same.  This time they called it the "leaving the country" words.  Sometimes they call it the "going to Florida" words.  Sometimes they call it the "we are leaving and not taking you with us" words.  And they always act so sad to do this.  And so happy to come back.  And to show everyone pictures.  It seems that they could do all the picture things and skip the kennel place entirely.  Now, I do enjoy that kennel place, but I enjoy being with my peoples more.  Even if all they do is talk about their trip to Belize.

Look!  It is mom-of-Boss, brother-of-Boss, Big One, Talker, Boss, and Player!  They are sitting on very comfortable chairs while they drink the world famous Jet Bar rum punch and wait for their little airplane to take them to an even smaller airport.  Boss says there are 6 gates at this airport.  And that the Jet Bar burned down right after they left to come home.  Brother-of-Boss was unsupervised for an hour although he claims he did not do it.  I do not know if brother-of-Boss can be trusted because he does not feed me cookies.  I encourage him to do trust-building exercises with me the next time he sees me.  Oh, and look at how pale and unpeeling all the skin of my peoples is.  This will change.  And that sentence was foreshadowing.

The first breakfast on the island.  Boss had the priority of taking pictures of food and not the island, so you must wait for that.  This is the "suspense" word.  (I am auditing a writing class so I am learning all of the important parts of story parts.  You will be learning right along with me.  You are much excitedness about that, I think!)

My favorite cookie sharing person is Mr. Larry.  He is going with mom-of-Boss and Willy to find cookies to bring back to me.  It will be a great adventure on the high seas!  Or in the high seas.  Or the low seas.  I am not sure, actually.   However, I am certain that Mr. Larry and mom-of-Boss are going to go under the water to find me cookies.  They are called "sea biscuits".  And that is a factual statement.

Boss caught a fish!  Boss said she was sorry but she ate it and did not bring it back to me to roll on. 

Talker and Player learn how to poke their fingers into fishes.  Talker is not so sure.  Player is totally cool with it.  Or, that is what it looks like anyway.  I think you have to poke your fingers into the fish so you can wave them around and make screaming noises while people try to take your picture.

Player.  Adorableness. 

Brother-of-Boss and Reggie catch little tiny fish to put on big hooks to catch monsterous sized fish.  Like the very scary killer ninja sergeant major fish or the incredibly vicious starfish.  Boss and Big One are still giggling over the funny things that Mr. Larry and mom-of-Boss said while they were sitting around drinking rum punch on the island.  Apparently mom-of-Boss said "I tell you what.  They.  Are.  Vicious."  And she was talking about starfish.  I know, right?  You are impressed with my ability to quote and cite sources.

Mr. Larry.  He is also called the "air sucking dog" words and the "odd-shaped bottom dweller" words.  I do not quite understand if this is good or bad.  But he does look delightfully chewy.

And this is mom-of-Boss.  Also delightfully chewy and probably running in fear from vicious starfish.

This is Big One.  He likes rum.  And rum punch.  And drinking it.

Big One and Player snorkel around the island.  They see lots of fish and Player very loudly hums the "Empire Strikes Back" theme song through his snorkel.  Boss says you can hear it when you get in the water and it is the "ominous" and "foreboding" words.  Boss is very good with her describing words.

This is a baby barracuda.  Apparently very tasty grilled with barbeque sauce. 

Boss does not like to snorkel in deep water with big fish but likes shallow water and little fish that sometimes end up in her swim shirt.  There is no explaining Boss sometimes.  But this is where she liked to hang out and take pictures of things that did not move very much.

Talker.  He told Boss he would not burn and got crabby about not listening.  And then Talker learned his lesson.  His skin peeled right off!  (And it still is, and it tastes delicious.  Do not tell anyone he is feeding it to me.  I could get into a lot of trouble.  Dogs are not supposed to eat peoples.)

Apparently brother-of-Boss sat here and waiting for the show to start every day.  I do not understand this, but I will quote some more for you as an illustrative method:  "Waiting for the show?"  "Yup."  Hm.  This was not really that helpful after all.  But it is another way to tell the story and people seem to like dialog.

The scary deep water that Boss did not enjoy.

And squid!  Boss was moderately happy about that.  But still not a fan of the deeper water snorkeling.  (Big One wishes to point out that it was maybe 6 - 8 feet deep.  But that is plenty deep enough for Boss and she did not like it, not one bit.)

This is Player doing the very delightful dog paddle over a very large brain coral.  (By the way, very is a very overused word and should be avoided lest you sound very not smart and very unable to come up with very descriptive words.  But I am a very independent dog and also very simple and I will use very a very lot if I want.)

Brother-of-Boss draws pictures of what he sees.  Boss says brother-of-Boss has a camera but this is how he rolls. 

Mom-of-Boss and Mr. Larry get their chewy delicious skins on and go back into the sea to find my cookies.

These are lobster and not cookies.  But I think they must be delicious based on the look on the face of Boss when she talks about the fantastic dinner they had that day.

And tortillas are made in a blue bucket by magic.  They were very much wonderfulness and Talker and Player would fight when there was only one left to eat.  Boss would smack them on the head and make them share.  Or give it to Big One.  This is a very good way to teach manners, says Boss.  Or at least a different way to teach manners.

Brother-of-Boss sleeps.  Because 11 hours a night is not enough.

Big One and Boss are on a little tiny island in the middle of the ocean...

... with everyone else.  And they seem to have all the important things like chairs and rum punch.  And a boat.  And they all laughed about something called a "three hour tour" but they were only on the little island for 45 minutes.  (This is the "cultural reference" words.  You would do well to Google that reference if you are confused.  The extra knowledge provided by the "cultural reference" words are supposed to give extra depth and meaning to the story.)

Player on the tiny island with what looks like MY COOKIE!!!!!!!

Awwww....  Big One and Boss.  And yes, that is Boss in a dress.  Maybe the world is going to end after all!  That statement may or may not be foreshadowing.  If it is not, then it is humor.  We will not know which one it is until the world actually ends.  Or does not.

I Fixed The Blog Posts of Boss, Part 2

So sometimes Boss writes blog posts all by herself for Evalicious and The ScrapRoom.  I think this is cuteness of Boss.  But I secretly am thinking that I could have done a better job of explaining the pictures and writing the words, so I am going to redo the blog posts of Boss here just for you.  I am sure she would appreciate this thoughtfulness by me.  I am very good like that.  In fact, Boss says I am the bestest dog she has ever had, so I am sure this is one of the things that makes me even better than bestest!

If you want to read the words of Boss herself, you can go here for the post about making this pretty-paper-picture-story page.  But it is not that good.  Just saying.  You know that dogs can not lie.  Not ever.

Boss Very Much Overuses the Word "Seriously"

So Boss references this post where she gushes about how much she loved some Evalicious deliciousness.  I think this is the cheating words.  I think is is not very good blogger etiquette to reference yourself when you are writing a blog post.  All the content should be brand new all the time.  But that is only my opinion.  Clearly it is not the opinion of Boss.

Also in the post, Boss says the "seriously" word about five billion times.  I am not exaggerating.  Boss is terrible bad at repeating the same words over and over and over and OVER again.  This is why I generally write most of the blog posts around here.  I know how to properly use words and be concise and manage my content.

Boss explains that she makes a mess of a lot of stuff piled on top of pictures of a mess but somehow her mess is okay and the mess made by Talker and Player and Big One is not okay.  And she used the word "seriously" here.

Boss says the "seriously" word again.  Which I am sure is not surprising to you.  She also says that she used the pink messy stuff because she is a mean person.  I am believing this.

Boss shows the words on the pretty-paper-picture-story page.  Which has the word "seriously" on it a bunch of times also.  Does anyone else find this ridiculousness?

Boss says the "evidence" word here and not the "seriously" word.  I am seriously not believing that.  (Oh, yes, that was written very much sarcastic.  Can you tell?)

Yes, Boss says the "seriously" word again.  It is just bad news when Boss writes her own blog posts.  I am very much apologizing for her, but what can I do?  I am just a very simple dog.

I Fixed The Blog Posts of Boss, Part 1

So sometimes Boss writes blog posts all by herself for The ScrapRoom and Evalicious.  I think this is cuteness of Boss.  But I secretly am thinking that I could have done a better job of explaining the pictures and writing the words, so I am going to redo the blog posts of Boss here just for you.  I am sure she would appreciate this thoughtfulness by me.  I am very good like that.  In fact, Boss says I am the bestest dog she has ever had, so I am sure this is one of the things that makes me even better than bestest!

If you want to read the words of Boss herself, you can go here for the post about making these cards.  But it is not that good.  Just saying.  You know that dogs can not lie.  Not ever.

Boss Makes Cards That Are Not Good Blankets

You know Boss... always looking for some excuse to sit in our hang-out room and not do any of the "cooking" or "cleaning" or "parenting" words.  So Boss made these cards out of scraps that she did not feed to me.  I find this sadness and disappointment, but sometimes Boss is not the best Boss she can be.  But she is trying to be better, I am sure.

 

 

So Boss made these cards out of scraps and tried to pass them off as fine art or some such nonsense.  This might have worked, but Boss explained how it was really easy and even if you do a terrible sloppy job all you have to do is put some tasty stuff on top.  And then she summed it all up by saying the "easy peasy" words which really makes me question Boss because really nothing is easy peasy around here.  I know for a fact there was swearing involved.  

And then Boss cuts right to the really long involved directions to make the cards that she claims are the "easy peasy" words.  Either they are the "easy peasy" words or they are not.  They can not be both.  And I know they were not.  Because of the swearing words.

Boss says these are flying geese and that you can make a blanket out of flying geese.  I say nonsense to both of those ideas.  I know geese when I taste them, and this is not them.

Boss says to make square cards because they are frightfully expensive to mail but if you are going to make a card, then you better be prepared to spend some money somewhere.  Because making cards for people means you are secretly cheap, way deep down.  On the other hand (or paw, if you are a very simple dog)... It maybe you have too much paper and you have already spent so much money that more money is not that big of a deal.  I think this is the "good money after bad" words.  These are two very interesting theories for square cards.  Boss does not mention either of these theories.  She says that quilt squares are square so that quilt cards should be square too.  This is not actually that creative.

Boss does math here in her blog post.  I will skip that part and talk about squirrels instead.  I think they would be most deliciousness, but they are also sort of fastish so I do not get to taste them very often.  Actually, never.  I have tasted a squirrel never, but someday I will catch Mr. Red Squirrel unawares when he is going under the side porch and give him a good tasting.

Boss makes envelopes for these cards.  See the theories above about either being cheap or throwing the "good money after bad" words.

As typical for Boss, she spent a ridiculous amount of time making the cards fancy.  It would be faster to teach me to drive, get me a job, and then let me earn enough money to put gas in the car and drive to Hallmark and buy a card.  And then stop at Dairy Queen for an ice cream cone of deliciousness!

 

A closer look.  Enough already.