More Food That I Am Not Getting To Eat

So I am a little peeved.  Big One, Talker, and Player are all playing with the stupid snooker table.  Instead of me.  And Boss is making food.  Not for me.  And she is not even dropping it on the floor when I give her the puppy dog eyes.  I mean REALLY???  These people are making me not very happy.  I am the most bestest thing in this house and I am not getting the love I so richly deserve.  Oh.  What?  Boss is making little lovey sounds at me and is kissing my nose.  Oh. OH.  I am maybe getting some love.  Oh!  See that!  My tail is wagging!  A lot.  A LOT!  Now Boss is explaining that the food she made is not tasty for dogs like THIS HANDFUL OF COOL RANCH DORITOS IS!!!!!!!!  OMG HEAVEN!!!!! 

Okay.  I will be sorry for being a whiner.  But maybe the whiny dog gets the doritos, huh?  Yes, I think so.  I am a simple dog, but brilliant at the same time.  Oh yes I am.  So I will show the food that is not tasty for dogs.  I am sorry my people will have to eat it. 

Pickled eggs.  Boss developed this recipe years ago and makes them when she thinks about college.  Or when she wants a beer.  I think that might be a joke.  But I am not sure.

Tomatoes:  Boss is amazed by and tired of all the tomatoes that three stupid plants made this year.  (Boss says the word "stupid" this time and not me.)

Cranberry Orange Marmalade:  Boss made some for Big One as a surprise one year and now she makes it when she has oranges going bad.  What?  Oh.  Boss is saying that is a secret and not in this recipe.

Veggie Soup starter:  Boss just sort of ground up all the vegetables around here - including a jalapeno - and stuck them in jars.  Boss seems to think this would be good in chicken noodle soup.  Whatever.  Those are VEGETABLES.

Cow Pie Cookies:  No.  They do not taste like cow pies.  Too bad for you!  You can make them from this recipe.  Boss loves that they have no flour and that Talker will eat them for extra calories.  Which is what the rest of us do not need.  I guess.